A Day in Falsettoland

WHIZZER: (speaking) A Day In Falsettoland, Dr. Mendel At Work.
MENDEL: I don't get it! I don't understand!
In the 60s, everyone had heart.
In the 60s, we were all a part of the same team.
In the 60s, we had a new world to start!
Could this- oh God, don't say this-
Could this be the new world we started'
Here I sit, brokenhearted and-
CAROLINE: You go out on the streets and there are all these people asking for a handout!
Then you go home, you open up your mail and it's full of people asking for a donation!
Then you turn on the TV and there's pictures of starving children in Ethiopia!
MENDEL: How does it make you feel, Diana?
CAROLINE: Caroline.
MENDEL: Caroline?
CAROLINE: Yes, my name is Caroline.
MENDEL: I don't get it!
I've been left behind,
Half my patients, yuppie pagans
Modeled on the Ronald Reagans!
Now the world is too pathetic,
And I don't get it at all!
CAROLINE: Now I've got the promotion, can I finally stop sleeping with my boss?
MENDEL: Time's up.
CAROLINE: Awww. You always do this.
MENDEL: At least there's Trina at home,
Trina in bed, Trina obsessing and sort of caressing
My head with her feet.
I once thought it was sweet,
But I don't anymore.
Now I just snore,
Cause I'm so exhausted,
Listening to these yuppie farts complain,
Listening as their shallow hearts explain
Their lives.
CHARLOTTE: (speaking) Trina Works It Out.
TRINA: (singing) Marvin's back with Whizzer,
Just like how it was.
If I don't like Whizzer,
It's because my ex sure does.
Why should that obsess me?
Sometimes I'm a lout.
Mendel serenades and Jason calms me.
Why should I be wilting
When their precious love is not in doubt'
Work it out!
JASON: The Neighbors Relax After Work
CORDELIA: How was your day at the hospital?
CHARLOTTE: Unbelieveable! What is that smell?
CORDELIA: Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine! I've been practicing cuisine bar mitzvah nouvelle.
MENDEL: Hi, honey.
TRINA:Well, hi, honey.
MENDEL: How was your day?
TRINA: It was terrible. Did you hear that Marvin's back with Whizzer? Marvin's back with Whizzer!
MENDEL: Drop it, sweetheart.
Give it up, you know I love you.
What's the matter,Trina, darling?
I don't get it. Why can't you let go?
TRINA: Maybe in a mile, I'll be OK. I will be happy when we finally have this bar mitzvah.
MENDEL: Isn't it enough I want you every night? (TRINA: Who?)
Every other night? (TRINA: Me?)
Every third night? (TRINA: Hehehehehe.)
Let's drop it. Everything will be alright.
TRINA: Everything will be alright.
MENDEL AND TRINA: Everything will be alright.
CORDELIA: How was your day at the hospital'
CHARLOTTE: It was wonderful.
For the first time in months, nobody died. (CORDELIA: Yeah~)
There were just heart attacks and gallstones,
Light bulbs up the ass,
Fake appendicitis, which was gas, which I diagnosed. People overdosed and I saved them.
I save the young people, old people,
One priest and one high school principal!
Saving lives, I feel invincible!
Yes, I do!
Do you know how great my life is?
Do you know how great my life is?
Saving lives and loving you
CORDELIA: You save lives and I save chicken fat, I can't ****ing deal with that!
CHARLOTTE/CORDELIA: Do you know how great my life is? /Yes, I know how great your life is. (Everything will be alright.)
Do you know how great my life is?/Yes, I know how great your life is. (Everything will be alright.)
Do you know how great my life is? /Yes, I know how great- (Everything will be alright.)
CHARLOTTE: Saving lives
CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA: And loving you.
(Marvin and Whizzer are playing racquetball)
WHIZZER: It bounced twice.
MARVIN: No, it didn't.
WHIZZER: Once, then twice. You know it did.
MARVIN: That's not nice.
WHIZZER: No, it isn't, but you're a pain in the ass!
MARVIN: You're a beast, but at least
When you play me, you win.
WHIZZER: You give up.
MARVIN: I perspire.
WHIZZER: Where's the heat? Where's the fire?
It used to be you'd desire a fight, so fight!
MARVIN: So play!
WHIZZER/MARVIN: One two three four!/One two three four!×4
WHIZZER: Lucky dink.
MARVIN: I'm finessing.
WHIZZER: Something stinks in how you play.
MARVIN: Don't you think it's a blessing I'm so pathetically bad
WHIZZER: Just stay back, sir, with force.
I'll attack and, of course, I will win! Just give in to bliss and kiss!
MARVIN: Let's go!
Do you know all I want is you？(WHIZZER: Down the alley! High long! Low jump! Oooh!)
Anything you do is alright! (Ceiling shot! Into the court!)
Yes, it's alright!
Do you know all I want (Four walls!)
MARVIN: ...Is you
WHIZZER: Hit your shoe.
MARVIN: No, it didn't!
WHIZZER: Yes, it did. The game is through.
MARVIN: That's not nice.
WHIZZER: No, it isn't.
MARVIN: God, you're a pain in the ass!
WHIZZER: Play it raw, don't play pretty.
Sex and games in New York City
Have got to be played with flair
And passion, and passion and flair!
CHARLOTTE AND CORDELIA: Do you know how great my life is? (Do you know all I want is you?)
Do you know how great my life is?
Saving lives and loving you' (Anything you do is alright!)
MENDEL AND TRINA: Everything will be alright! ( Yes, it's alright!)
Everything will be alright!
ALL: Everything will, everything will be alright! Feel alright for the rest of your life
Feel alright for the rest of your life! Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Feel alright, feel alright for the rest of your life! Feel alright for the rest of your life! Feel alright for the rest of your life!
Everything will be alright!