Now I Feel Ya

...it's a new day... ya know what
I'm sayin'?
A new day, brings a new problem to a brother
And all I gots ta say is thank
God for my mother
Cause without my mommy dear my life would've been joke
Either locked up playin' dead and still slangin' dope but nope
The lord he had a plan for me
And with his help, my mother made a man of me
Didn't blindfold me to the world we was livin' in
Taught me how to save my little dividends
So when I graduated
I'd have a little school money
But in the sixth grade
I wanted to be the school dummy
And flunked outta school with the flag pole
And left my mother dear at home with a sad soul
Because my mother worked the fingers to the bone
Cause we was alone, and me
I bought a death home
My real pops he broke out with the style
So I respect my stepdad, for raisin' another nigga's child
So now we livin' comftable
Taught me the game and how to be responsible
But back then
I couldn't see it
I wanted to be a grown man at fourteen so the kid's leavin'
And ended up in a big fight
And told me not to come home until
I got my shit right
So now I'm livin' in my grandma's home
My grandma's strong, she's got nine kids of her own
And keepin' me ain't no big deal
But now that
I'm much older
I see just how the shit feels
Being kind-hearted, not wantin' to tell me no
Even though my grandfather just had a stroke
And now the money's low
And pretty soon a brother's gonna have ta go
Or either try to find a job so
I can help out
I'm in the ghetto,
I gots ta get myself out
And when I get out
I gotta try to pave the way
So my family can have a better place to stay
I'm losin' all hope, a brother's fallin' short
I can't cope, so now
I'm slangin' dope
And now my granny knows
I'm doin' wrong
She just prayin' for me heavily
Take care of her grandson
And the lord must of heard her prayer
Cause he made me get a grip
And got me on up outta there
I heard my mother say them streets is gonna kill ya
You couldn't have told me nothin' back then
But now I feel ya...
I'm eighteen, and now
I'm havin' big fun
My baby's mother just had my first son
May eleven,
I never will forget the day
A star's born, let's name him little scarface
My first born and yo
I'm a proud father
I gotta son,
I gots ta be my son's father
And sellin dope ain't the way that
I can get ahead
But what the hell,
I gots ta keep my baby fed
I buy him milk, and pampers tryin ta do my part
And he's my son,
I gots ta try to make him hard
I buy him clothes, and jewellry not the tonka toys
Because the tonka toys will only punk my boy
And I don't want my son to look at life
Through a replica of reality tryin' to make it life-like
But yet and still
I let my son be a kid
Just give him up the real, exactly like my momma did
So when he gets to be a man he'll appreciate
The game I gave him way back when he used to roller skate
And now my son is four years old
I really gots ta give the real and try to play the father's role
Because these years he'll remember most
So it's all about little marcus and me becomin' close
But I got a buncha obstacles
If it ain't my line of work it's the girlies on my popsicle
Now everybody's got my baby
Wantin' to have their hands in my pocket tryin to drive me crazy"it's your daughter, don't she look like you? "
I just can't tell, why don't you take it to ma momma do
Because my mother knows the real deal
All these hoochies poppin' coochie tryin' to get a free meal
So now we in and outta cope
Tryin' to get mo money, braggin' om the child support
Tellin' her friends that she's breakin' me
Now eveybody knows, that she was just fakin' g
Come to find out, the girl never had me
She's the baby's mother but me
I ain't the baby's daddy
And biological tests can prove
You gotta get up off of me and go after the other dude
But now I finally got a real daughter
No need for the testin'
I know that
I'm the baby's father
I heard my daddy say them hoes will try ta kill ya
You couldn't have told me nothin' back then
But now I feel ya...
I feel ya...
Now I'm twenty-two and finally got a grip on life
It's nineteen ninety-three,
I put away my pocket knife
And got a bigger stick to fight with
I'm young and black so my choice ain't a nightstick
Because we livin' in a concentration set
And everyday, we face to face with death
I seen my homies go and come
And judgement day is just somethin we can't run from
So I know my number's comin' up
So I gotta protect myself from suckers who be runnin' up
And even though
I hate killin' off my own kind
I gotta be a man and as a man
I'm a defend mine
My brother corners tryin to keep the neighbourhood at peace
Don't fight each other, we gots ta stand and fight the beast
So united we stand but we gonna fall quick
Because we always tryin to take another brother's shit
And the cops is in the same vote
Just because we comin' up quick they think we slang dope
They shootin' ta kill, they gas ain't sparkin' goods
They shot my long time partner rudy in cold blood
And now the story's all twisted up
And if they gave the cop the chair
I really wouldn't give a fuck
Because she left my partner's family with memories
And after hearin' this
I know you don't remember me
But yet in still
I find it hard for me to stay in touch
I see his parents and then
I started breakin' up
Because I know what you did was wrong
But you won't realize until you dead and gone
It ain't no justifiable homicide, you never gave a warning
You straight up shot him from behind
But all the cryin' in the world ain't gonna bring him back
You give a gat to a black he don't know how to act
But you gotta tell your story to the judge
Not the imitation judge, the judge that everybody loves
And if the man upstairs grants you forgiveness
Then in reality you took care of your business
But regardless
I know you wanna kill me
But I ain't goin' out like dat
Ya feel me?...yeah