hell P

I should have focused on the love
對愛，我應心無旁騖
I should have focused on the love
浸入愛河
And my health before the fame
成名前我鬱鬱寡歡
I should have told somebody how I felt
我應向學會傾訴內心感受
Instead of tightening the belt around my neck
而不是被生活勒到近乎窒息
I should have asked for help
我應該求助
But I've been asking myself everyday
日復一日，我問著自己
If it's too late for me to make a change
改變是否為時已晚
They say the grass is greener on the other side
人們總說，另一個世界綠草如茵
But I took a look at mine and it looked dry
但我的幻想鄉一片荒蕪
I guess they lied or maybe I am colorblind
我想是他們說了謊，或許我的世界本就蒼白
Or maybe I forgot to give it water and I let it die
又或許我無心灌溉，枯形灰心
'Cos that's what I do with everything important in my life
因為這是我生活中重要的事
Yeah, I make it disappear
是我讓它消失殆盡
I hide the evidence and act like it was never here
我藏好了證據，然後銷聲匿跡
I pack my backpack and put it on my back real fast and leave
未雨綢繆，逃之夭夭，爭分奪秒
The murder scene behind my back and never looking back at my past again
我總逃避慘痛的過往
Yeah, I really need a friend
我渴求一位摯友
I really need someone that I can let inside my head
得一知己，死可無恨
I'm in hell
水深火熱
Help!
救我
I'm lonely and afraid
我被孤獨和恐懼包圍
I really need somebody by my side until the end
我渴望一束光，伴我前行，直至終結
'Cos nobody ever taught me how to deal with depression
因為沒人教過我如果對抗抑鬱
So I'm doing this my way without any lessons
所以我盲目前行
I'm writing down my thoughts into my book of confessions
我正在反思本里記下我的思緒
And then Im reading them out loud at my therapy sessions
我會正視那些負面情緒，當我接受治療時
But It's not working and I don't know why
但我也不知道為什麼
Maybe I was made to be unhappy 'til the day I die
也許直到死前一刻，我都會黯然神傷
Or maybe my only purpose in life is to hate being alive
或許我此生唯一的目的就是厭惡自己活著
'Cos every single second of my life feels like a waste of time
因為我活著的每一秒都像在浪費時間
I got bad thoughts on my mind and Its my fault I know
我知道我散發著負能量
I should have never closed my eyes and gone blind I know
我清楚我不該蒙蔽雙眼
I should have never lied to myself everytime that I said
我不該再自欺欺人
”I'll be fine” 'cos Im not fine
“會好起來的”可我一點也不好
I don't even know if I'm alive anymore
我甚至覺得自己已然模糊
'Cos nobody ever taught me how to deal with depression
因為沒人教過我如何抵抗抑鬱
So I'm doing this my way without any lessons
所以我有些不知所措
I'm writing down my thoughts into my book of confessions
我正在反思本里記錄著我的思緒
And then Im reading them out loud at my therapy sessions
我會面對我所有的負面思想，在我接受治療時
' Cos nobody ever taught me how to deal with depression
因為從始至終是我獨身一人在遭受抑鬱的折磨
So I'm doing this my way without any lessons
所以我顯得笨拙
I'm writing down my thoughts into my book of confessions
我正對此深深懺悔
And then Im reading them out loud at my therapy sessions
我終會戰勝抑鬱