chemical veins
He wrote me
他给我的信中提到
"Coming back to the Sheba ghost,
“我就如同示巴古国孤独的鬼魂一般，
I thought of Solomon's list
所罗门的名单上
Of all those signs one is only to name to quicken the heart"
名单上的一字一句让我心跳加快，记忆涌上”
I'm sorry that I always start ****
我很抱歉因为我永远只会搞砸一切
I'm sorry that I seem so heartless
很抱歉我看起来就像行尸走肉
Sorry I bled on the carpet
很抱歉我的鲜血弄脏了地毯
And sleep all day in your apartment
长眠于你的公寓之中
(Sorry) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
（对不起）我对你的付出道歉
(I'm sorry) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
（对不起）我对我的所作所为道歉
(Sorry) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
（对不起）我很抱歉，我就是个麻烦
(Feels so empty now) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
（内心迎来了从所未有的空虚）抱歉，抱歉
Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
对不起，我扰乱了一切
I feel so helpless now
被绝望所包围不知所措
I know you want someone I can't be
我知道你总是对我寄以厚望
You'll always be someone I can't please
你希望我能够成为你所期望的人，但我做不到
Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
对不起，我做不到
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
对不起我辜负了你的期望
Taste of these chemical veins
沉醉于酒精所带来的辛辣中
My intuition is lifted whenever I hit or sip it
当我酩酊大醉时一切烦恼仿佛都抛之于脑后
I got it, I get it till I am forgetting my name
直到我迷失自我的那一天我终于明白了
What's death but an option?
或许死亡也是个不错的选择？
I'm **** like my posture
我对我的所作所为很满意
Feel like an imposter
就像个自欺欺人的骗子一样
Live life like a monster
像个怪物般活在自己的世界中
Just sad that I lost her
从失去她那天起我便被痛苦环绕
Now drown in the pain
在痛苦之中沉沦
Of these chemical veins
醉生梦死之中
See you down the bottom of barrels I'm fishing in
仿佛看见你就在我身旁
Stomp me out, toss me like roaches into the wind
从我之上践踏而过，不闻不问
At night the devil start speaking
黑暗中的魔鬼对我低语
Sews hate in my heart till I'm heated
弥漫在空气中的痛苦让我疯狂
I pull on the seams just to breathe in
我将自己封闭在自己的世界之中以苟活
Still pushing down urges, still fiendin'
却仍在魔鬼的低语之下迷失自我
Float away
孤独的心灵在黑暗中飘荡
Into the clouds, created by bullets
穿透云层无处可归
Throw away
抛弃一切
All of my feelings, my brain says they're useless
我的意识告诉我悲伤没有用
Feel like my friends think I'm stupid (I'm sorry)
很抱歉让我的朋友觉得我是个蠢货
Nothing got good I'm not clueless (I'm sorry)
我不是蠢货虽然我毫无用处（很抱歉）
Keep my eyes low in my hoodie (I'm sorry)
低下头颅，消失于人海（我很抱歉）
Intuition left my bloody (Ahh)
我又一次失去了知觉（Ahh)
Taste of these chemical veins
奢求以酒精麻痹自己
My intuition is lifted whenever I hit or sip it
醉酒之后便能忘记一切
I got it, I get it till I am forgetting my name
我明白了，我会离开，直到迷失自我的那天
What's death but an option?
或许死亡对我来说也是个不错的选择？
I'm **** like my posture
我对我的恶行持满意意见
Feel like an imposter
在自欺欺人中迷失
Live life like a monster
像怪物一样自生自灭
Just sad that I lost her
从失去她那天我便死了
Now drown in the pain
在痛苦中溺亡
Of these chemical veins
只有在酒精中
Taste of these chemical veins
只有当我喝的烂醉如泥时
My intuition is lifted whenever I hit or sip it
我才能勉强从痛苦中脱身
I got it, I get it till I am forgetting my name
我试着去忘记一切，直到我连自己都记不清的那一天
What's death but an option?
或许死亡可以从头开始一切？
I'm **** like my posture
我对这一生‘很满意’
Feel like an imposter
在自欺欺人中结束生命
Live life like a monster
再也不想活得像个怪物
Just sad that I lost her
从失去她的那天起，我的心就死了
Now drown in the pain
在无尽的痛苦之海中沉浮
Of these chemical veins
只有当我与酒为伴
Taste of these chemical veins
烂醉如泥不省人事之时
My intuition is lifted whenever I hit or sip it
我才得以从痛苦之中逃离
I got it, I get it till I am forgetting my name
我再也忍受不了这种生活
What's death but an option?
死亡或许能够让别人忘记我
I'm **** like my posture
我这一生活得糟糕
Feel like an imposter
整天在自欺欺人中洋洋自得
Live life like a monster
却像个怪物般人为人唾弃
Just sad that I lost her
从失去她那天我便不是我自己了
Now drown in the pain
迷失于痛苦之中
Of these chemical veins
沉醉于酒精之中