Several Years

Lately, all I feel is pain
近来，我能感受到了尽是苦痛
Feels like my heart doesn't beat the same
我的心跳已不是原来的节奏
I wanna give up and I just feel stuck in a life that I know I cannot change
我想要放弃，被困在无法改变的生活中
I'm really lonely and feel drained
很孤独，很无力
Sometimes I feel like a mistake
有时觉得这就是个错误
I just sit and dwell in my trauma, my life's full of problems, I feel like I might break
浸于创伤，充满矛盾，随时崩溃
Try to move on, but I just can't
试着继续前行，我做不到
Breakdown after breakdown
崩溃又崩溃
And, somedays, I wish I could run away just to escape and feel at ease even if it means one day
有些日子，我希望可以逃离，哪怕是一天
Where did my life go wrong?
我的生活是从哪开始脱轨的
I was a happy teen and now I'm in the dark
曾经是一个快乐的少年，现在我陷入了黑暗
Who's sad as hell and always at a loss
是谁悲伤得要死，总是不知所措
No one could tell I'm drowning in my thoughts
没人能说出，唯独我一人沉浸在消极的想法中
I'm still lost tryna find purposе
我仍然迷茫着，想找出因果
After all these yеars, I'm still searching
这些年，一直在寻找中
Hope you forgive me for being a burden
希望你原谅我是一个负担
Self-love is something that I'm still learning
学着自爱
And I know I lie when I tell you I'm fine
我自己清楚“我没事”是一句假话
'Cause nobody knows I'm struggling inside
因为没有知道在里面苦苦挣扎
Sorry if you see me cry
如果你看到了我哭泣，很抱歉
It's just I finally realized
最终我明白了
It's been several years
这几年
Since I felt okay
自从我觉得这没什么
I'm losing my way and
就失去了前进的道路
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I've been on meds
即使我一直在吃药
I still feel depressed and
但我仍旧感到抑郁
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I felt alive
即使我仍旧能感受到自己的存在
There's no tears to cry and
欲哭无泪
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I had a friend
即使我仍旧拥有朋友
They came and went
来来往往
Lately, I feel so depressed
近来，我感到低沉
Tried to get help, but I'm still a mess
尝试寻求帮助，但还是一团糟
I don't ever rest, I guess I'm stressed
我不休息，我猜压力是必需品吧
Got my head down, hands gripping on my neck
我低下头，双手紧抓着脖子
Did I take my last breath?
刚才是最后的呼吸吗
Did I walk my last step?
刚才是我走的最后一步吗
I'm alive, but inside I am dead
表面上我活着，但我的内心其实已死
Look, I lied, I'm not fine 'cause my mind is a wreck
看吧，我撒谎了，我很不好，因为我的精神崩溃了
I saw pictures of me in elementary
我看到了小学时的照片
I don't remember teachers ever telling me
我不记得老师曾经告诉过我
I'd be an adult who senses people's energy
我会成为一个能够感知人们正能量的成年人
Being an impact, attract souls who lack empathy
做一个有影响力的人，吸引那些缺乏同理心的人
When I look back, my past brings back bad memories
当我回首往事时，总是勾起不好的回忆
Plus, it's so sad, I had to withstand everything
而且，这太糟糕了，我必须承受一切
I felt my last ex thought, you stand next to me
我感觉到我最后的前任在想，你就站在我身边
You stabbed my back and that hurt me bad mentally
你刺伤了我的心，这让我精神上很受伤
It definitely changed me, but I forgive you
这确实改变了我，但我原谅你
I understand now that you had your own issues
我现在明白了，你有你自己的问题
Your fear of abandonment really convinced you
你对被遗弃的恐惧确信无疑
That you weren't enough of the love I would give you
你说我给你的爱还不够
I tried, but I broke myself tryna fix you
我试过了，但为你，我毁了自己
And now I feel hurt that you couldn't commit to
现在我为你不能遵守承诺而感到伤心
Me or the love I would give you
我或者我给你的爱
Nobody knows what I've been through
没人知道我经历了什么
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I felt okay
自从我觉得这没什么
I'm losing my way and
就失去了前进的道路
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I've been on meds
即使我一直在吃药
I still feel depressed and
但我仍旧感到抑郁
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I felt alive
即使我仍旧能感受到自己的存在
There's no tears to cry and
欲哭无泪
It's been several years
很多年了
Since I had a friend
即使我仍旧拥有朋友
That came and went
来来往往