ADDICTION

And I don't even know how I got this far
Don't even bother tryna save me
I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me
Everything I want, but I'm still dying
Even when I'm down, know I'm still trying
I'm not really living, I'm just surviving
I've been lookin' for my purpose again
And I'm barely hangin' on by a thread
It's been gettin' too hard to pretend
I just wanna let go of my sins
Callin' out for help, but I don't got no one to talk to
Try to be a better man, but it always falls through
I'm feelin' like a disappointment, I'm hearin' voices
I've been on the edge again
And you know it's hard to be myself sometimes when I only want what's worse for me
And I hate what I became, now I'm so stressed out
Tried to medicate to push these thoughts out
All alone, I don't wanna need these pills to function
I supply my own destruction
I wish life came with instructions
Maybe then I'd finally change
I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me
Everything I want, but I'm still dying
Even when I'm down, know I'm still trying
I'm not really living, I'm just surviving
I've been lookin' for my purpose again
And I'm barely hangin' on by a thread
It's been gettin' too hard to pretend
I just wanna let go of my sins
Withdrawals, they go on and on
It's been so long, but I'm hangin' on
And I've been lettin' the ones down that love me
I just push 'em away
'Cause I don't even know myself or who I am
These days embrace pain to try and feel something
And I don't even know how I got this far
Don't even bother tryna save me
All alone, I don't wanna need these pills to function
I supply my own destruction
I wish life came with instructions
Maybe then I'd finally change
I don't like the drugs, but the drugs like me
Everything I want, but I'm still dying
Even when I'm down, know I'm still trying
I'm not really living, I'm just surviving
I've been lookin' for my purpose again
And I'm barely hangin' on by a thread
It's been gettin' too hard to pretend
I just wanna let go of my sins