Rap Battle (From "Legion: Finalmente"Soundtrack Version)

I'm the old wizard who lives in the shoe
The slick mack daddy from the ice cube
My body's quite muscular, bloodstream's quite corpuscular
If you step to me, farkas, you'll be sorry, sir
Oh, yes. You'll be sorry
I'm the Big Bad Wolf, that's what I'm telling you
I've got a sensitive nose, that's why I'm smelling you
I'll roofie your daughter, hell, I'll roofie your son
I'm faster than a gun, so you can hide
But you can't run
I'm an old-school warlock
Slept in more bear's bed than Goldilocks
Stay away from my kids or I'll beat you with my cock
You may be an animal, but I'm a magical mammal
Who can turn you into ash and then I'll go on sabbatical
You got all of the id, and none of the ego
You're all bark and no bite, while I fly like an eagle
I'm the supine lupine, my libido kills sunshine
Moody and spicy like a fine-ass toilet wine
I'm the new norm, like stepmother porn
like a snatch and grab in a college dorm
I'm everything that's real like the fact that veal
Is really adorable baby cows
Who scream for their mommies when they die
Mmm, screams
I'll take your reality and I'll break it in half
Then I'll go take a shower, or maybe a bath
See, I'm classy, I'm elegant, like a democrat or a delegate
I've got balls of an elephant, by which I mean I'm masculine
I've got a lot of nice feminine qualities, too
You can say I'm the mother of disaster
The battle master, you can call yourself a wolf?
You're a s***** little bastard
I'm the loco lobo, and your name is meat
Here is my lap, come take a seat
I've got a spiky erection, like your daddy at bedtime
Holding you tight and reading "Once Upon a Hate Crime"
I'm a hepatitis outbreak in a homeless encampment
I'm realer than real, I only got bad news
Now get out of my way 'cause I win and you lose!
You are a scared little boy and you're crying boo-hoo
Because you know deep inside that nobody loves you
I've got family and friends, I give money to charity
Every year on my holiday, people send me cards and letters
My mom and dad still write to me
Little old ladies still smile at me
Puppies aren't afraid to me
I get more hugs than hate mail
And I go to bed happy
Can you say that, you sad, sad man?