Razzle in My Pocket
In my yellow jersey, I went out on the nick
South Street, Romford, Shopping Arcade
Got a 'Razzle' magazine, I never paid
Inside my jacket and away double quick
Good sense told me once was enough
But I had a cocky eye on more of this stuff
With a 'Razzle' in my pocket back to have another pick
Instead of being sneaky, I strolled inside
I put my thieving hand on something rude
I walked right out with a silhouette of nudes
"Hold on, sonny", said a voice at my side,
"I think you've taken one of my books"
Passers-by gave me dirty looks
"Not me mister", I bravely lied
We stopped by the window of a jeweller's shop
"If it's money for your lunch, I'd have given you a loan"
"Have you got any form? Were you on your own?"
"Round to the station and we'll tell the cops"
"I'm ever so ashamed, it was wicked and rash"
"Here's the book back, and here's the cash"
"I've never stole before, I'll promise I'll stop"
"Crime doesn't pay, you've got honest eyes"
"If we go to the law another thief is born"
"And I'll get the book back, creased and torn"
"So, return what you've taken and apologise"
I gave him back his nudie book
I said I was sorry, I slung my hook
With the 'Razzle' in my pocket as the second prize