Sloppy Love Jingle, Pt. 1

Bartender!
'Yeah I hear your wise ass, give me a minute.'
I'm trying to get this round over here.
'What do you think I'm just working for you here? '
Actually, will you, will you send a drink, to the lady at the end of the bar? Yeah that one right there.
'Here you are man.'
Yeah, yeah. It's on me. Tell her it's from Travie.
'It's from this guy over here.'
From the second she ******mmied in
I was intrigued by her essence
And my first instincts to make sure that my presence was felt
Simple and plain
I'm probably jumping the train
But all I could see was my name engraved on her belt
Hit the pause button
Damn!
I don't even know this girl
And I'm already practicing my sweet-nothins
But that's a classic trait of a soft-spoken, heart-broken, fellow like my self best believe (******)
I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve
But that night the Jagermeister had my sleeves rolled up
Wait a minute, hold up
I think she caught me grillin' now I'm spillin' my drink (don't look don't look)
I knew our feelings were in sync so now she gave me the wink
The only problem is, I'm not your ordinary, average Romeo
A Cyrano de Bergerac (shut the **** up)
In fact, I remember back in fifth grade
I tried to read the book of love, but sadly
The introduction didn't grab me
So I left it on the shelf and kept moving
Assuming that this planet rotates
I'll just procrastinate until the day I bump into my soulmate
Who would've thunk I would be pissy ass drunk when time came for collision
So I made the decision to just keep my composure (cool cool)
Until she started getting closer
And then I felt this weird feeling underneath my left shoulder, and then I
Slipped, tripped, busted my lip and fell in love
The minute that she stepped in the door
The type of girl I'd have to make a couple mix tapes for
To me she equaled MC ******d and everything else was mathematics
I never took the time to practice