These Are the Tales

These are the tales
These are the tales that
I tell so well(Tune in to the History Channel)
These are the tales(Learn a lesson biatch)
These are the tales that
I tell so well(Short Dog)
Im thinkin way back, its been a long, long time
In 1980 I wrote my first rhyme
I like to spit a lot of game
But back then,
I was just sayin my name
I had a record player on my stereo
Got down on my knees with my radio
From Oakland,
California with some new shit
Im Sir Too
Short, Im bout to do this
In 1981, thats where it all begun
We do it for the money, we dont rap for fun
Five dollas fo a tape,
Too Short and
Freddy BMoney in my pockets all
I ever need
It was me,
Fred B and
Freddy Brack
Dipped the sermon sticks then we smoked them phat
While we rapped about the bitches and all the hos
Cant be in the hole tryin to ball without vogues
In 82 you was in the game
With a Falcon,
Cougar or a
MustangMe and
Freddy B used to hit the turfs
With a bag of tapes puttin in work, biatch
In 83 you hit a house party
A dolla get you in and a dolla fo a drink
Im on the turntable smokin get-right
And at mid-night
Ill be rappin on the mic
I did the same thang, for the next two years
Thats why they say my name, when
I come through here
When I was
Sixteen, I wantd to be a mack
I went to
Fremont High with
Lil D and
BlackYoung ballers in the town livin real phat
Never had the sack but
I smoked a little crack
Crushed up in the weed, we call em bass rock
CaddiesGoin on them grimmies make them hos call me daddy
These are the tales
These are the tales that
I tell so well
These are the tales
These are the tales that
I tell so well
Its been fifteen years since that shit happened
But Too Short dont stop rappin
In 85, I was on the right page
Ten thousand niggaz,
Short live on stage
Underground tapes was all they ever heard
But the whole crowd sang along with me word for word
And that changed everything
Went to Seventy
Five Girls and hooked up with
DeanReal player-ism and thats no joke
Snort a lot of coke with hos that like to smoke
I was makin records but wasnt makin money
You can take it seriously or you can think its funny
By 87, I was on my own, started
Dangerous
MusicAnd I made the song 'These are the tales, the freaky tales'
No radio or video or
CD salesSix platinums in a row,
Ice Cube and
Cool JWho else did that shit?
Short Dog from the
BayThese hos try to play it safe
But I been mackin hard since eighty-eight
And from eighty-nine to ninety-six
I was rappin on the mic talkin shit about a bitch
Ill retire ten times and
Ill still be here
My old records sell about a half a mil a year
I say 'Bitch get naked' so pimpishly
Spit rhymes through decades and centuries
And bitches just love my dirty mouth
When I see you again
Ima cuss you out, biatch!
Thats my gift, now all you rappers get to say that shit
I wont sue you, but thats the trademark
I was a grown ass man when you was playin in the park lil nigga
These are the tales
These are the tales that
I tell so well
These are the tales
These are the tales that
I tell so well
Now Im in
Atlanta I still love the
OI gave you my bitch but you cant have my flow
I guest appeared on 47 albums
Fuck McDonald and fuck
CalvinI get money with
Erick Sermon when
Im in New
YorkI get respect, they call me
Too ShortI live swell in
ATL, cause
Im a player
We fuckin hella hos at
X House in
Decatur where its greater
You know how we ride
I got love for all niggaz from the
EastSideIt was me,
Ant Banks and
Shorty BAll we need to do is find my nigga
PeeWeeWe used to be on
Murdel Street makin funky songs
If you see him tell him
Short said its back on
Lets get this money, midwest down
SouthEast coast,
West coast ride out, biatch
These are the tales(Thats my gift to rap)
These are the tales that
I tell so well(You can have that word, say bitch all you want)
These are the tales(All you regular fake ass niggas)
These are the tales that
I tell so well(You finally get to have Too Shorts bitch, trick)