I know whats gonna happen
Dont tell me that its not
Youll call me up at nine
And say: 'Theres something you forgot'
Your brother is in jail
Your moms been in a wreck
Your sister has a goiter
Like a football on her neck
Youre gonna stand me up
And Ill be staring at the phone
Sitting there all dismal and pathetic and alone
And feeling just about as welcome
And as wanted as a kidney stone
I know whats gonna happen
You know whats gonna happen
We know whats gonna happen
We all know whatll happen
It never doesnt happen
It always has to happen
Its guaranteed it happens
Whats Gonna Happen (Reprise)