the millionaire

T'was early Friday mornin' as I cycled into town
The front wheel it was wobblin' and the mud guard fallin' down
The two legs of me trousers were held up with bits of twine
And a pension book kept telling me a pint would soon be mine
How are you Mr. Murphy, said the postal clerk to me
Not too bad, says I, for a man of 73
The fox came to me house last night and stole me only duck
'Buy a lottery ticket', she says, 'It might change your luck.'
Well I took the little girls' advice and I gave to her a pound
Outside I scratched me ticket with the penknife I had found
Well I nearly dropped me trousers and I grew a head of hair
When I realized I was a bloody millionaire
No more hay or turf to save, no more feedin' calves
One kick from me big boot and the bike was in two halves
I headed for the local, sure I was feeling great
And friends I never knew I had came in to celebrate
Not long after that I had a new suit on me back
A new red car outside the door with a telephone on the rack
Me wife was wearing a blonde wig where her gray head used to be
And the Wellington tracks had disappeared from just below her knee
I sat there admiring the new dress that she wore
A lovely set of teeth she had installed the day before
I held her oh so tightly like when I was a groom
And we looked rich and graceful as we waltzed around the room
Well then I got an awful shock, I thought I'd nearly die
I spied my ugly missus as I opened up one eye
With rollers in her old gray head she nearly made me sick
'Get up and milk the cows', she says, 'you ravin' lunatic.'
It was then I realized that it was all a dream
The cow was lowing in the field and the cat was at the cream
Our bike was thrown in the hedge, me trousers had a shine
ah but twas lovely while it lasted, that winnin' dream of mine