Scarred

I am scarred from the actions of others
I am scarred from the actions of self
I am scarred by the times
That I held back the storm
With no one to turn to
Nobody else
I have risen beyond what I used to be
I have fought hard to gain what I lacked
But I still hear the footsteps
Of my failures on my heels
And everything I thought left behind
Is clinging to my back
I've made myself a fortress
In pursuit of all my dreams
But it's built upon my self doubt
And more fragile than it seems
I can struggle to forget
That I've always felt alone
But the consequence
Of standing on my own
I've been broken
Nothing can make me whole again
I've been fighting
Battles that can't be won
Drowning in a sea of self-hate
Searching for an answer that never was
I've spent half of my life trying to kill my demons
And I'm frightened that the process
May have turned me into one of them
I've looked into the darkness of my personal abyss
But I feel it staring back
And it sees right through me
I am beaten but unbroken
I am bloodied but unbowed
And these years have left me shattered
But I'll make it through somehow
I think that's probably why
I've been alone all my life
I think that's probably why
I am lost and I'm scared that I can't find my way
I've spent half of my life trying to kill my demons
And I'm frightened that the process
May have turned me into one of them
I've looked into the darkness of my personal abyss
But I feel it staring back
And it sees right through me
Now I struggle to forget
That I've always felt alone
And I can't escape the consequence
Of being on my own
I've been broken
Nothing can make me whole again
I've been fighting
Battles that can't be won
I've been tortured
Shaped into what I am
Scars I've hidden
Through my entire life
Searching for what
Never was
Drowning in an
Endless sea of doubt