Only Allowed a Crush

I want a normal highschool love
But I'm only allowed a crush
I've hidden myself for five years
And now I'm just lost
Everyone's at the end
I'm at the start and I know I can't catch up
I'm not the only one
I shouldn't feel sorry for myself
In the night my head starts to drown
Start to drown, start to drown
(Oh no, oh no, oh no)
I stood and screamed for years but nobody heard a sound
(A sound, a sound, a sound)
I let them get to me and they watch me all bleed out
(Bleed out, bleed out, bleed out)
So I'll just run away pretend I'm okay in my own house
(My house, my house, house)
I'm just stuck in circles nothing ever change
I self deprecate and hope it goes away
I do this all the damn time
And in the morning try forget what I was feeling last night
I need to get away don't wanna live my whole life on my own
Then I start to think so far I've been alright all alone
This world's so f*ckin stupid and I swear to God that I'm done
(I swear to God that I'm done)
I let my head start to drown
Start to drown, start to drown
I can't make it stop when my head gets loud
I stood and screamed for years but nobody heard a sound
Even if they did they'd pretend they didn't hear me at all
I let them get to me and they watch me all bleed out
Stand over my dead body I'm just gonna lay on the ground
So I'll just run away pretend I'm okay in my own house
But I'm not it's not as easy as I thought it was

Start to drown, start to drown
(Oh no, oh no, oh no)
I stood and screamed for years but nobody heard a sound
(A sound, a sound, a sound)
I let them get to me and they watch me all bleed out
(Bleed out, bleed out, bleed out)
So I'll just run away pretend I'm okay in my own house
(My house, my house, house)