I Shall Be Free

Well it took me a woman late last night
Is three-fourths drunk she looked all right
Til she started peelin off her onion gook
She took off her wig said how do I look
Is high flyin bare naked out the window
Well sometimes I might get drunk
Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk
Dont hurt me none dont hurt my pride
Cause I got my little lady right by my side
Shes a tryin a hide pretendin she dont know me
Is out there paintin on the old wood shed
When a can a black paint it fell on my head
I went down to scrub and rub
But I had to sit in back off the tub
Cost a quarter half price
Well my telephone rang it would not stop
Its President Kennedy callin me up
He said 'My friend Bob what do we need
To make the country grow '
I said 'My friend John Brigitte Bardot
Anita Ekberg
Sophia Loren country will grow'
Well I got a woman five feet short
She yells and hollers an squeals an snorts
She tickles my nose pats me on my head
Blows me over and kicks me out of bed
Shes a man eater meat grinder bad looser
Oh there aint no use in me workin all the time
I got a woman who works herself blind
Works up to her britches up to her neck
Writes me letters and sends me checks
Shes a humdinger folk singer
Late one day in the middle of the week
Eyes were closed I was half asleep
I chased me a woman up the hill
Right in the middle of an air drill
I jumped a fallout shelter
I jumped the string bean
I jumped the TV dinner I jumped the shot gun
Now the man on the stand he wants my vote
Hes a runnin for office on the ballot note
Hes out there preachin in front of the steeple
Tellin me he loves all kinds a people
Hes eatin bagels hes eatin pizza
Hes eatin chitins
Oh set me down on a television floor
Ill flip the channel to number four
Out of the shower comes a football man
With a bottle of oil in his hand greasy kid stuff
What I wanna know Mr Football Man is
What do you do about Willy Mays
Martin Luther King Olatunji oh
Well the funniest woman I ever seen
Was the great granddaughter of Mr Clean
She takes about fifteen baths a day
Wants me to grow a mustache on my face shes insane
Well ask me why Im drunk all the time
It levels my head and eases my mind
I just walk along and stroll and sing
I see better days and I do better things
I catch dinosaurs make love to Elizabeth Taylor
Catch hell from Richard Burton