l IKEA boss

Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review.
No problem.
So youre in charge around here, is that fair to say?
Absolutely, Im the boss.
Ok, so take us through the day in the life of a boss.
Well the first thing I do is...
Talk to Corporate (Like a boss)
Approve memos (Like a boss)
Lead a workshop (Like a boss)
Remember birthdays (Like a boss)
Direct work flow (Like a boss)
My own bathroom (Like a boss)
Micromanage (Like a boss)
Promote synergy (Like a boss)
Hit on Deborah (Like a boss)
Get rejected (Like a boss)
Swallow sadness (Like a boss)
Send some faxes (Like a boss)
Call a *** line (Like a boss)
Cry deeply (Like a boss)
Demand a refund (Like a boss)
Eat a bagel (Like a boss)
Harassment lawsuit (Like a boss)
No promotion (Like a boss)
Fifth of vodka (Like a boss)
**** on Deborahs desk (Like a boss)
Buy a gun (Like a boss)
In my mouth (Like a boss)
Oh, **** me, I cant ****ing do it, ****!
***** out (Like a boss)
Puke on Deborahs desk (Like a boss)
Jump out the window (Like a boss)
Suck a dudes **** (Like a boss)
Score some coke (Like a boss)
Crash my car (Like a boss)
Suck my own **** (Like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (Like a boss)
Chop my balls off (Like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (Like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (Like a boss)
**** his brains out (Like a boss)
Turn into a jet (Like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (Like a boss)
Crash into the sun (Like a boss)
Now Im dead (Like a boss)
...Uh-huh, so thats an average day for you then?
No doubt.
You chop your balls off and die?
Hell yeah!
And I think you said at one point there you suck your own ****?
Nope.
Im pretty sure you did.
Nah, that aint me.
Ok, well then this has been eye opening for me.
Im the boss.
Yeah, no, I got that, you said it about 400 times.
Im the boss.
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Im the boss.
No, I heard you, see you later!
Like a boss!