on the plane

You will need to arrive at a quarter to five
if your plane is departing at ten.
When you called for a seat, we advised you to meet
at the gate and wed let you know then.
The seats are so teeny youll sit like Houdini.
Be quiet and listen to this,
If we should fall in a fiery ball,
kiss your own ass good-bye, then your kids.
On the plane, on the plane,
You will do exactly as we say.
Youll remain in your seat
with your bags at your feet
till the speech is complete on the plane.
If we sit on the runway from now until Monday
well all we can say is 'too bad'.
Up front theres free liquor and they get there quicker,
so those folks are not quite as mad.
Youve paid your dinero, this movies just fair
Oh but here comes the part thats so good.
Then the pilot will cut in; 'We cant see Cleveland,
but if it werent cloudy, we could'.
On the plane all is well,
Just think of it as practicing for hell.
Im in five, youre in four,
you lean back anymore,
youll be shoved out the door of the plane.
We are not responsible for...anything.
And everything can go wrong.
We really dont know where well go or when.
And you may never see your bags again.
Such a shame, on the plane.
Your carry on stuff has to fit in this box.
If it doesnt and you make us wait,
youll be pulled from the line with a hook from behind
and then beaten and shot at the gate.
The air that youre breathings been re-circulating
since Orville and Wilbur were boys.
If you should choke, heres a thimble of coke.
You do realize that coughing annoys?
On the plane, on the plane
People are we perfectly insane?
The skies are not so friendly.
Delta isnt ready.
I prefer the bus.
USAIR begins with US.
Its truly torturous
on the plane...on the plane.