letter to death (R.I.P)

Born a cop in uniform in black vinyl gloves
I don't hate you for your steel-toed boots or your handcuffs
I'm tired of waking up every morning
And witnessing all of this mess
I swear that I'm reaching the point of me breaking
I'm getting too close to the edge
So where can I go when I'm low and I'm lost
Stuck in my head and depressed
Where can I go when there's nowhere to run
Cuz all of my idols are dead
What if it happened to friends
What if it happened to them?
What if it happened to my little brother that I barely see anymore?
What if it happened to him?
And what if it happened to me?
Before I was done saving lives?
That is the reason I' m scared
I'm tired of feeling this pain,
Tired of feeling despair
Tired of holding this **** in my chest
I feel like I'm drowning inside of my head
The people that saved me from killing myself
Are the people I'm waking up seeing dead
And death is the reason I'm scared to do anything now
I swear I don't feel alive
And death is the reason I'm scared to do anything now
I swear I don't feel alive
You are the way you always were
You like your cruel games
But I am not so quick to break
I count my gain in blood and pain
You are the way you always were
You like your cruel games