Hope of Morning

My minds a kaleidoscope, it thinks too fast
我的思想如萬花筒一般迅速閃現
Blurs all the colors til I cant see past
努力模糊所有的顏色，然後我便看到了從前
The last mistake, the choice I made
那是上一次犯的錯和我所做出的抉擇
Staring in the mirror with myself to blame
盯著鏡子裡的自己，我無比自責
Sometimes Im afraid of the thoughts inside
有時候，我會很恐懼我內心的一些念頭
Nowhere to hide inside my mind
甚至找不到地方去隱藏它們
Im scared that youll compare and
我怕你會計較
Ill look a lifetime past repair
所以我花掉我從前的快樂讓一切變得更好

我第二次想離開的時候
I second guess myself to death,
我一遍遍捫心自問

如果我說的話再無意義會怎樣？
I re-solicit every step
如果我的心迷失在此又會怎樣？

我試圖捕捉每一分鐘，假裝自己本來就擁有過
What if my words are meaningless?
試圖隱藏起所有記憶讓它們能安安靜靜地陪我
What if my hearts misleading this?
當我心中那些清晨的希望開始褪色消失
I try to capture every moment as it comes to me
我不敢讓黑暗抓住機會侵蝕掉我
Bottle up the memories and let them keep me company
而清晨的希望讓我覺得反抗黑暗是如此值得

所以我今夜也不會向黑夜投降
When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
當我日漸老去，青絲不再，抑或步入而立之年

不管哪件事先降臨
I dont dare let darkness have its way with me
我都會需要你來讓我知道，我沒有浪費一丁點

甚至，當我的生活最後淪為只剩我孤身一人的時候也一樣
And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight
儘管就像你從來沒存在過

當我細細剖析我的心、我的精神....
I will not be giving in tonight
這些都不重要，重要的是，有太多的跡象可循

我也實在不清楚我是瘋了還是失眠過度
When Im old and grey, or thirty,
如今“瘋”是種潮流，小孩兒們無腦追逐並且喜歡診斷自己瘋的程度
or whatever happens first,
攀比是種病
Ill need you to reassure me I didnt waste a verse
不能放棄治療

但是我內心的凌亂卻不能被治愈
Or worse, what if my lifes work is reduced to just myself
不論是用一劑藥，一瓶藥，還是用刀片

自厭和自私一直將我禁錮
Like never let you get a word in,
而我不想讓你看見我這樣
while I dissect my mental health
我也不願意讓我朋友知道這些
Or lack thereof, whatever, theres too many things to track
自厭和自私無時不刻不在跟著我
I really cant remember if Im insane or insomniac
當我心中那些清晨的希望開始褪色消失

我不敢讓黑暗抓住機會侵蝕掉我
Now days, all the kids want crazy, wanna diagnose themselves
而晨間的希望讓我覺得反抗黑暗是如此值得
Trade up made up epidemics,
所以我今夜也不會向黑夜投降
pass around prescription pills
而不管我多努力

為什麼變好需要這麼長的時間
But my disorder cant be cured
我想騙了整個世界，直到我慢慢好起來
by a bottle, blade, or dose
但我卻怕被永遠當成騙子
Self-disgust and selfishness tend to hold me awfully close
我不停想知道我腦子裡到底哪兒不對了

我不是一定要明白，但是今晚我希望我能知道答案
But I dont wanna let you see that,
所有我不能搪塞過去的痛苦都不會消失
I dont want my friends to know
所有秘密因為羞愧而變得沉默
Self-disgust and selfishness take me everywhere I go
不要讓我開口

不要讓我說
When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
當我心中那些清晨的希望開始褪色消失

我不敢讓黑暗抓住機會侵蝕掉我
I dont dare let darkness have its way with me
而晨間的希望讓我覺得反抗黑暗是如此值得
And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight
所以我今夜也不會向黑暗投降

I will not be giving in tonight
Try as I might to keep it together

Why is recovery taking forever

Fool the whole world, just until I get better

Im terrified Ill be faking forever

On and on I wonder what went wrong inside my head

I dont have to have the answers, but tonight I wish I did
All the pain I cant explain away wont fade

All the secrets silenced by the shame
Dont make me say it
Dont make me say it

When the hope of morning starts to fade in me

I dont dare let darkness have its way with me

And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight

I will not be giving in tonight