suicide hotline

It aint no point to me waking up,
everybodys time Im taking up,
I got nobody, it aint a shoulder near,
I cant stay here and its colder there,
I dont wanna look back cause its gonna hurt,
I slice my wrist and its gonna squirt,
For me everybody holds a hate,
I got backstabbed and everybody holds the stake,
its no roads to take Im in a circle drive,
bustin at myself and Im tryna survive,
Ill disappoint you, and I will let you down,
and I aint got many home boys comin round,
you dont understand so dont say you do,
I swear Ill put a mother ****** slug in you,
Im the only one, the lonely one,
and at home loading a gun thinking why not?
I got court comin up, I stole a truck,
I got a ************ pregnant and Im broke as ******,
I wanna get high but i got piss test,
Im always first name on top of the ************t list,
get this, the witch has made my chest,
its permanent nightly visiting nest,
it aint no clothes I look good in,
Im the mother ****** big red train that couldnt,
I got no family I stole they ******* *****t,
restraining orders and I still wont quit,
I hit rock bottom, and I fell in a hole,
and I fell through the floor of that hole some more,
I been missin for a year, nobodys lookin,
I got beat down and my ************t tookin,
I look ahead and all I see is more of the same
or this self inflicted bullet hole pouring my brain!
I dream about cuttin heads off with a shovel,
the dreams are gettin serious think Im in trouble,
I dont hold memory for more than an hour,
Im tire as ****** and Im drained of power,
I aint half way there and Im outta time,
Im like a crushed light bulb, all outta ********** **ne,
I been around the world but no place is home,
I wanna see the other side when I face this chrome,
Im butt-naked, I been jackin off gettin drunk,
its my last hours alive who gives a ******?
It dont matter. Im doing the ************t in the garage,
tryna make it easier for them to clean my head splaage,
this ************ I loved, I hope she finds me,
still up in the chair with my thoughts behind me,
Im about to do it,
Can you hold for a second...
Hello?