didn't have you

Yeah, yeah...
If I didnt have you
Yeah
If I didnt have you to hold me tight
(If I didnt have you)
If I didnt have you to lie with at night
(When Im feeling blue)
If I didnt have you to share my sighs
(Share my sighs)
And to kiss me and dry my tears when I cry
Well I
Really think that I would
Have somebody else
(If I didnt have you)
If I didnt have you
Someone else would do
Your love is one in a million
(One in a million)
You couldnt buy it at any price
(Cant buy love)
But of the nine-point-nine-nine-nine-hundred-thousand other possible loves
Statistically, some of them would be equally nice
(Equally nice)
Or maybe not as nice but, say, smarter than you
Or dumber but better at sport or... **** ing... tracing?
Im just saying
I really think that I would
Probably
Have somebody else
(If I didnt have you)
If I didnt have you someone else would do
(Someone else would surely do)
If I were a rich man
Fiddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle diddle dee
I guess I would be with a surgeon or a model
Or a rellie of the royals or a Kennedy
Or a nymphomaniacal exhibitionist heiress
To a large chain of hotels
If I were a rich man, maybe I would fiddle
Fiddle diddle diddle with the rich man girls
Im not saying that Id not love you
If I was wealthy or handsome
But realistically, theres lots of fish in the sea
And if I had a different rod, I would conceivably land some
Even though I am fiscally consistently pitiable
And considerably less Brad Pitt than Brad pitiful
Am I really so poor and ugly that you think
Only you could possibly love me?
And I
Really think that I would
Probably
Have somebody else
(If I didnt have you)
If I didnt have you someone else would do
(Someone else would surely do)
Look , Im not undervaluing what weve got when I say
That, given the role chaos inevitably plays
In the inherently flawed notion of fate
Its abstruse to deduce that I found my soulmate
At the age of 17
Its just mathematically unlikely that at a university in Perth
I happened to stumble on the one girl on Earth
Specifically designed for me
And if I may conjecture a further objection
Love is nothing to do with destined perfection
The connection is strengthened
The affection simply grows over time
Like a flower
Or a mushroom
Or a guinea pig
Or a vine
Or a sponge
Or bigotry
...or a banana
And love is made more powerful
By the ongoing drama of shared experience
And the synergy of a kind of symbiotic empathy, or something
So I trust it would go without saying
That I would feel really very sad
If tomorrow you were to fall off something high
Or catch something bad
But Im just saying
I dont think youre special
I mean, I think youre special
But, you fall within a bell curve
I mean, Im just saying I
Really think that I would
Probably
Have somebody else
I think you are unique and beautiful
You make me happy just by being around
(Just being around)
But objectively you would have to agree
That baby when I found you
Options were relatively thin on the ground
(Thin on the ground)
Youre lovely but there must be girls as lovely as you
Or maybe more open to spanking, or table tennis...
Im just saying
That I think that I would
Probably
Have somebody else
I mean I reckon its pretty likely that if for example
My first girlfriend, Jackie, hadnt dumped me
After I kissed Winstons ex-girlfriend Neah
At Stephs party back in 1993
Enough variables would probably have been altered
By the absence of that event
To have meant the advent
Of a tangential narrative in which we dont meet
Which is to say there exists a theoretical
Hypothetical parallel life
Where what is is not as it is
And I am not your husband and you are not my wife
And I am a stuntman living in LA
Married to a small blonde Portuguese skier
Who when shes not training
Does abstract painting
Practises yoga
And brews her own beer
And really likes making home movies
And suffers neck down alopecia
But with all my heart and all my mind
I know one thing is true
I have just one life and just one love
And my love, that love is you
And if it wasnt for you
Darling, you
I really think that I would
Possibly
Have somebody else
If I didnt have you
If I didnt have you
Someone else would do
Someone else would surely do