So Exciting! (The Pitch Song)

So you arrange this rendezvous in order to audition your new show for me
Hoping I would invest
Nailed it in one
So what’s the story of your show
Here is the story um yes
There’ll be
Lovers
And singers
And entrepreneurs
Depravity
Ecstasy
Love that indoors
Worthy of even the best raconteur
A tale in the shadows of dear sacre-coeur
We see along the seine
Upon its filthy shore
The bloated corpses of those killed the night before
But it’s a family show
With art both high and low
A tale of love
And death
And sex
And money
Dancing and the way we go to
Sweet Satine who plays our ingenue
A sparrow singing up and down each avenue
She wears a thin black dress
And tells her tale of woe
Of pain and loneliness
But that’s not all as these things go
She’s rather sick with some obscure malaise
No doubt a cruer trick from wilder desperate days
But one day singing through her pain
The sun kicks out the rain
And there he stands, a lover
Yes, one day everything changes
When she meets a man
A man, unlike any she has known
He’s a
Ventriloquist
No, he’s a matador striding across the sands of destiny
No, no, no! He’s a sailor
Yes, a sailor! That’s it
A man who has spent his life voyaging across turbulent seas
He’s been searching for a mate
And now it seems like fate
A gift from god above
A love divine forever more
Their bodies intertwine
But fate has many other things in store
There’s a man who already claims her
An evil gangster who runs this town
She’s unhappy and no one blames her
The most less lascivious racketeer around
He buys her love
He buys her clothes
He’s rough but this is all the poor girl knows
He buys her love
There’s no escape
But now a triangle has taken shape
And so the sailor driven mad
Determined to unseat this cad
Swears to risk his life for love
And there’s our show, all of the above
A spectacle of savagery
A testament to lunacy
Fun for the whole family
And all of it designed by me
So exciting
The audience will stomp and cheer
So delighting
It will run for fifty years
So exciting
Make them laugh and make them cry
So delighting
And in the end, should someone die
So exciting
Make our dreams reality
So delighting
Make it happen just for me
Make it happen just for me