Vending Machine of Love

(from OnlyCans thirst date)
（歌曲出自《罐子特供：饥渴约会》）
(song by the Stupendium)
（作者：the Stupendium）
(stup:"a dear friend recently asked me to compose a theme song for his new game.")
（stup：“我一好哥们让我给他的新游戏写首曲子。”）
("this is that theme song.")
（“这就是那首歌。”）
("I would like to formally apologise in advance.")
（“我想先正式地向他致歉。”）
(please LIKE and SUBSCRIBE.)
（请点亮红心并关注stup大叔）

这是一首歌，关于软饮料的。
this is a song,about soft drinks.
就这么多。
and nothing else.
把你的下流想法收收吧。
get your mind out of the gutter.
（开罐声）

嘿伙计们
*puff
口燥难忍了吧？
Hey guys
缺少滋润的女士们想要熬过去对吧？
Are your lips dry?
我可知道各位姑娘和小伙们最爱的事
Any desiccated ladies trying to get by?
一起过来享受些许滑润吧
I know the best way for the girls and the boys to
所以你在寻找百万里挑一的那位伴侣？
Come together and enjoy a little MOISTURE
而碳酸饱和也不是你想要的方式
So you're waiting on the mate that's one-a-million?
你觉得这很奇怪但宝贝请放下顾虑
And carbonation ain't the way that you envisioned
然后让你的约会滑进这些铝制品
You say it's strange but baby shed your inhibitions
（浪荡的蓝莓馅味）
And let your date slip into something ALUMINIUM
她既优雅
*Blueberry Tart
也伶牙俐齿
She's elegant
还热情溢泡
And eloquent
狡猾地在我胡茬里留下液滴
And so effervescent
如此地让人感到舒畅
Subtle bubbles in my stubble
从未想过我能撞见
Feeling ever so pleasant
这么精致纯粹的女孩
Never thought I'd find a girl
免费加入消费套餐
With such a delicate essence
熟食店里就能偶遇
Free with the meal deal
看见冰肌玉骨的你坐在雪柜里抛着媚眼
At the delicatessen
你是“冠”名组织里的一员？
Saw you sitting in the fridge with a twinkle
还是孤身自处？
Are you a multy-pack Can?
稍微品会再喷出些什么也不能算是犯罪
Or are you single?
我也才刚把手指插入你的开孔
A little sipping and a spritz isn't sinful
所以快把硬币塞入这台爱情的贩卖机
I'm just finna get my finger in your ring pull
然后享受轻佻的少女喘出

你梦里不断幻想的声音
So slot your pennies in the Vending Machine of Love
如果你是被欲望折磨的孑然之人
And pick that fizzy little minx
你可以在OnlyCans中“观”赏到香溢四溅的场面
That you've been dreaming of
每罐尤物都有着被“灌”满的渴求
If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man
因此我希望你能“管”理好这330毫升的量度
You Can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans
在泡沫般膨胀的骚动中逐渐迷失
Every glamorous Can has a heart to fill
寻得你的挚爱
So I hope that you Can handle three-thirty mil
当你沉迷于OnlyCans汩汩的液体中
Get lost in the froth as the foam expands
你早就看过了其它艺术性的付费内容
Get your loving
但那些女孩哪会有覆盆子的醇郁味
While you're glugging on some OnlyCans
所以如果你咬定我们只是家污秽不堪的罐厂

那得要习“惯”我们18+的
Now you've seen other paysite galleries
卡路里
But none of those girls taste like raspberries
因此让她尽情喷溅吧
So if you think we're just some obscene Cannery
在风流地调情过后
All our Cans are 18+
急不可耐的嘶嘶声

不就是你到此的目的吗
Calories
我们调制好了针对各种癖好的多种口味！
So,give a spray
（未经开发的樱桃味）
For some flirtatious behaviour
你能说我们粗俗
That come-hither hiss
尽“管”如此，你可不能说我们平淡无奇
Is what you came for
接下来随你直接开动或者再调制一番
We've been brewing up a plethorra of flavours!
再带TA回家同餐共饮
*CherryPop
每个人的鸡尾酒里都掺了不一样的泡声
Say we're crude
那又如何？无论作料目录
You Can never say we're tasteless
在你的包装上写了什么？
So if you drink it straight or with a mixer
我还未曾见过你们
Bring a mister or a missus home for dinner
但真是不见亦如故
Everybody's got a different fizzle in their spritzer
你们可是天作之合
What's it matter what ingredients
只要你俩“你情我愿”就好
Are on your sticker?
无论你们是冷淡
I haven't met you all
平凡
But it's contextual
来者不拒
You're all impeccable
还是善变
If it's consensual
反正今天过后我们
If you're ACE-
全是“恋罐者”！
DEMI-
所以快把硬币塞入这台爱情的贩卖机
PAN-
然后享受轻佻的少女喘出
FLEXIBLE-
你梦里不断幻想的声音
End of the day we are all
如果你是被欲望折磨的孑然之人
CAN-SEXUAL
你可以在OnlyCans中“观”赏到香溢四溅的场面

每罐尤物都有着被“灌”满的渴求
So slot your pennies in the Vending Machine of Love
因此我希望你能“管”理好这330毫升的量度
And pick that fizzy little minx
从不自保是我们的一“贯”作风
That you've been dreaming of
寻得你的挚爱
If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man
当你沉迷于OnlyCans汩汩的液体中
You Can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans
突兀冒泡
Every glamorous Can has a heart to fill
但我“贯”彻我的直率
So I hope that you Can handle three-thirty mil
的确是有些黏糊
We Can SEMI-guarantee that we won't be banned
可我们会把溢出的舔掉
Get your loving
只有这个应用
While you're glugging on some OnlyCans
能满足玩弄锡罐的花花公子们

抓拍好这些“罐头”
May be fizzy
用你习“惯偷”拍景“观”的镜头
But I'll spit a little Candour
啊！
Sure it's sticky
铁罐也能披“纶”戴“冠”跳起“鹳”舞？
But we'll lick the spillage after
罐子当然能
There's only one app
戛纳“官”方销售的罐子成为了
For tin Can philanderers
在加拿大“关”心着“故岸”的法“裔拉罐”
Snapping what the Can did
粗“犷”的堪培“拉罐”邀你上舟齐“逛”
With your Candid Camera
想在芹苴的面“馆”里“掼”完面再搂住当地罐深吻？
UH!
墨西哥“冠”军罐在坎昆餐“馆”里
Can a Can Can-Can?
衣“冠”不整、随意走“光”地“鼓案”激舞
Yes it Can
并再为你“灌”上一杯
All the Cans in Cannes are
与斯堪的纳维亚铁罐野营“观”“光”
Canuck Cans in Canada
浪迹在树“冠”下的“谷岸”旁
Manly Cans in Canberra in Canoes
和你亲密的爱罐一起
Grabbing noodles and Canoodling with Cans in Can Tho?
与意大利罐分享这块“冠”名的奶油馅卷
MexiCan Cans in Cancún
在“灌”溉的运河上打发烛“光”共舞前的时间
SCandalously sCantily Clad in their sCanties
接着奔向“广”阔的坎特伯雷“观”景
And deCanting at you
只为“惯”着这浪漫氛围
Camping with a SCandinavian Can
不“管”怎样你最好还是打消你的计划
Under a Canopy,alone in a Canyon
风流的卡萨诺“瓦罐”也无法“管”住你的需求
With your Can boo
坎塔布里亚酒“馆”的女“倌”们静待客“官”到来
Share a Cannoli with Italian Cans
在加纳利群岛上闲“逛”
On the Canals before a Candlelit dance
然后打桥牌打到输“光”底裤
Then Canter off to Canterbury
而你的罐子“伴铝”不小心弄得你满手液体
For a Canny romance
靠北
You better Cancel your plans
这种“广”东风味难道不正是你的最爱吗
This Can-sanova Can't handle the demand
所以快前往
Of Cantabrian Can-oritas in Cantinas with fans
柬埔寨“观”望
On the Canary Islands
你可以让当地的风味把你“灌”满
Strip Canasta 'til you're down to your pants
再投多一个圆硬的镀铬币
And your Can-panion froths over your hand
爱情从未如此低钠过
Damn
外“观”像小吃？
These Cantonese Shizes are your creamiest stans
“冠”名为开胃饼
So go over to
像奥“观”海一样竞选？
Can-bodia
“冠”名为候选人
You Can let the local flavour flow over you
能往舌尖“灌”入甜味？
Getting down with the hard round Chiomium
“冠”名为糖果“管”杖
Loving's never been so low sodium
能轰鸣它的枪“管”？
Can looking like a snack?
“冠”名为加农炮
That's a Canapé
感觉到心脏里的罐状体？
Can-paigning like Barack?
那是根医用插“管”
That's a Candidate
能收到它的“关”心？
Can sweet on your tongue?
那是筒小茶罐
That's a Candy Cane
有打听的习“惯”？
Can rocking them guns?
“管”他叫推销人员
That's some Cannonade
漠不“关”心麻木迟钝？
Feel that Can in your heart?
“管”这叫乖戾暴躁！
That's a Cannula
所以快把硬币塞入这台爱情的贩卖机
Can sends it's regards?
然后享受轻佻的少女喘出
That's a Can-nister
你梦里不断幻想的声音
Inquisitive Can?
如果你是被欲望折磨的孑然之人
That's a Canvasser
你可以在OnlyCans中“观”赏到香溢四溅的场面
Insensitive Cans?
每罐尤物都有着被“灌”满的渴求
Cantankerous!
因此我希望你能“管”理好这330毫升的量度

嘿！“管”住你拿着镜头的手！
So slot your pennies in the Vending Machine of Love
寻得你的挚爱
And pick that fizzy little minx
当你沉迷于OnlyCans汩汩的液体中
That you've been dreaming of
所以快下载OnlyCans，这专为饮料爱好者的应用。
If you're cursed with the thirst of a lonely man
它利润可高了。
You Can get your juices flowing with some OnlyCans
啊，哦不，抱歉，
Every glamorous Can has a heart to fill
是它可滋润了。
So I hope that you Can handle three-thirty mil
嘶...我的错。
Hey!Don't touch,just hold the Cam!
（完）
Get your loving
While you're glugging on some OnlyCans

so download OnlyCans,the app sold to lovers.
it's got very high-ratings.
ah oh not,sorry,
it's very hyd-rating.
my mistake.
(End)