What's Gonna Happen

I know what's gonna happen
我知道会发生什么
I'll try to go to bed
我会试着入睡
With fear of failure flapping
对失败的恐惧在我脑中
Like a fruit bat in my head
像一只果蝠一样乱飞
I'll sleep for half an hour
我只能睡半小时
The clock will ring at six
闹钟在六点响起
I'll wake up in the shower with a stomach full of bricks
我会在浴室中身体沉重地醒来
So I won't have any breakfast, maybe just a little tea
所以我不会吃早饭 可能只喝一点茶
Like when you have to go and get a colonoscopy
就像你在去做结肠镜检查之前要做的那样
Which incidentally isn't half as disconcerting or upsetting
但是那压力可半点比不上
As going for a part you know there is no way that you are getting
为了一个你知道你不会拿到的角色去试镜的不安
But anyway I'm heading, downtown for the audition
但我还是得去市中心走一遭
Where everything I'm dreading will be coming to fruition
在那里我所有的恐惧都将成为现实
And here's what's gonna happen
接下来会发生这些事
I'll walk in weak with hunger
我走进去 因为饥饿而虚弱
And there's a dozen girls who look like me but ten years younger
那里有着十几个女孩 和我长相相似却比我年轻十岁
I'll go into the bathroom and I'll try to vocalize
我会走进洗手间 试着练声
And I'll be singing "minga-minga-minga-minga-ming"
我会唱着minga-minga-minga-minga-ming
But I'll be hearing Sandy sucks
但是我会听见“珊迪真差劲”
She really sucks, she really, really, really blows
“她真的真的真的很烂”
And she's old, and she's lame,
“她又老 又没本事”
and then someone calls my name
然后有人叫到我的名字
And here's what happens
接下来会发生这些事
I'll walk into the room
我走进房间
The gross fluorescent lighting is inviting as a tomb
那恶心的荧光灯像座坟墓
And everybody smiles, they'll say its good to see ya
大家都微笑 说着“很高兴见到你”
But all I see is judges and they'll all look like Scalia
但我看到的只有裁判 长得都跟安东宁·斯卡利亚（前美国最高法院大法官）一样
And then a little banter as they look me up and down
之后寒暄一番 他们会打量我
And somewhere through the fog of insecurity and hate
透过那惶恐与恨意的迷雾
I'll try to convince them that I'm charming
我会努力说服他们我有魅力
And I'm clever and I'm fun to have around
我很聪明 我是个有趣的人
But I'm starting to unravel in my head I hear the gavel
但是我快散架了 我仿佛听见槌音
Guilty! They're gonna throw the book at me 'cuz I'm
有罪！他们会责罚我 因为我
Guilty! Of coming in and wasting all their time
有罪！因为我浪费了他们的时间
Guilty! Of almost every other showbiz crime
有罪！因为我触犯了这行业里几乎所有的禁条
Not young enough!
不够年轻！
Not thin enough!
不够纤细！
Not pretty enough!
不够漂亮！
Not good enough!
不够好！
We hereby sentence you to a lifetime of waiting tables and debilitating self-loathing
我们判处你终身当个服务生 并一辈子背负无尽的自我憎恨
Sandy?
珊迪？
But wait no someone's asking
不 等等 有人在问我
So can we hear your voice?
我们能听听你的声音吗？
I make a lame attempt at humor: Do I have a choice?
我开个可怜的玩笑：我难道能说不吗？
I nod at the pianist
我向钢琴伴奏点头
He's always wearing black
他总是穿着黑衣服
He's always in a turtleneck with dandruff on his back
总是那件高领衫 背上还全是头屑
No sooner do I get my note and open up my trap
我找准我的音高 一只脚已踏入陷阱
Then inevitably some mealy-mouthed assistant director's thumbs are all over his iPhone
然后某个油嘴滑舌的副导演已经不可避免地在他的手机上打字
And I know he's probably tweeting LOL, This girl is crap
我知道他肯定在发推特说 真好笑 这女孩太烂了
She's a fake, she's a phony
她是个假冒者
She could never win a Tony
她永远不可能得到一个托尼奖
I now live in a place I know quite well
我现在总算来到了一个我熟悉的地方
I've left the world, and I've entered hell
我离开了这世界 进入了炼狱
I'm this far away from a fainting spell
我离晕倒就差这么一点点
But just before I die
但在我死掉之前
I finish a song which I oversell
我唱完一首演得太过了的歌
Somebody says thanks and wishes me well
有人说着谢谢 祝我一切都好
The next thing I know I'm at Taco Bell
但一转眼我就在塔可贝尔快餐店
Stuffing my face with meat
使劲吃着肉
I'm trying to take it slowly
我在试着慢慢来
I'm trying to be my best
我在试着做到最好
I'm trying to be more holy
我在试着变得更圣洁平和
Less bitter and depressed
变得不再愤世嫉俗
I'm reading Eckhart Tolle
我在读Eckhardt Tolle（德裔心灵导师）的书
He makes a lot of sense
他说的话可有意义
I bought a Buddhist bowl
我还买了个佛教颂钵
He says he it helps you be less tense
他说这能帮我放松下来
It doesn't do a thing for me
这破东西帮不上一点忙
I sit there on the floor
我无助地坐在地上
I watch a vivid sequence of humiliating instances from my past go by
我的眼前放起了走马灯 全是我可耻的失败
And think what kind of masochist keeps coming back for more
我想 什么受虐狂会一次次地重复这种折磨
When she knows what's gonna happen
即便她知道会发生什么
'Cuz it never doesn't happen
因为没有一次不这样
'Cuz it always, always
因为每一次 每一次
Sandy? Sandy!
珊迪？珊迪！
Michael?
迈克尔？
No! I know what's gonna happen
不！我知道会发生什么
Don't tell me that I don't
别告诉我我不知道
And don't say that I'll rise to the occasion 'cuz I won't
别安慰我船到桥头自然直 因为我不会
And don't say I've got talent
别说我有才华
And don't say I've got heart
别说我有勇气
And don't say that I'm clever cuz I know I'm pretty smart
别说我聪明 因为我知道我脑袋还灵光
I'm smart enough to know that I'm too stupid to admit
我聪明到能意识到 我因为愚蠢而不愿承认
You can't survive a diet that consists of eating shit
我不能撑过这种如同吃泔水般的节食
The trick is knowing when it's time to pack your bags and say "that's it!"
秘诀在于意识到什么时候该撂挑子了
You know what's gonna happen
你知道会发生什么
I know what's gonna happen
我也知道会发生什么
Here's what's gonna happen
接下来会发生这事：
I quit!
我不干了！
I quit!
我不干了！
I quit!
我不干了！