army (live UNC memorial hall, chapel hill, NC, 91808)

Well I thought about the army
Dad said, son youre ******* high
And I thought, yeah theres a first for everything
So I took my old mans advice
Three sad semesters
It was only 15 grand spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead
Grew a moustache and a mullet
Got a job at chick-fil -a
Citing artistic differences
The band broke up in may
And in june reformed without me
And theyd got a different name
I nuked another grandmas apple pie
And hung my head in shame

Been thinking a lot today
Been thinking a lot today
Oh, I think Ill write a screenplay
Oh, I think Ill take it to la

Oh, I think Ill get it done yesterday

In this time of introspection
On the eve of my election
I say to my reflection
God please spare me more rejection
cause my peers they criticize me
And my ex-wives all despise me
Try to put it all behind me
But my redneck past is nipping at my heels
Ive been thinking a lot today
Ive been thinking a lot today
Ive been thinking a lot today
I thought about the army...