This Time (feat. Keith Fontano)

I let somebody in, and then it killed me
我讓一個人進去，然後她帶著我
Sometimes I hate that I always feel things
我總能感覺得到有時候
Cause everything I care for is always leaving
因為我所關心的一切總是離開
Me and my heart need to have a meeting, look
我和我的心需要開個會，聽著
Fighting all the demons that are living in my mind
與我心中所有的的惡魔戰鬥
Cant be looking back, when you leave it all behind
當你把它這一切都拋在腦後,不要回頭看
'Coulda, woulda, shoulda,' yeah, I hear it all the time
“可以，可以，應該，”是的。我一直在聽
I got so much to say, but all I say is, 'nevermind'
我有好多話要說，但我只是想說，“沒關係”
So let me let you in for a couple of minutes
所以我讓你進去幾分鐘
Praying to God like, 'Could you give me a minute?'
向上帝祈禱，“你能給我一點時間嗎?”
Forgive me for the ways that Ive been living
原諒我的生活方式
I said that Id be different
我說過我會與眾不同
I know you dont see a difference , but
我知道你看不出有什麼不同，但是
You gave me this life, Im just playing the cards
你給了我這樣的生活，我卻只是在玩牌
Every time I pray, I dont know where to start
每次我祈禱，我都不知道從哪裡開始
Grocery shopping, never filling the cart
雜貨店購物，永遠不要填滿購物車
Theres food for thought, I need food for the heart, yeah
我需要思想的食物，我需要心靈的食物，是的

穿上我的連帽衫，戴上耳機
Got my hoodie up, earphones all in
我不去上班，幾乎不打電話
I didnt go to work, I hardly call in
告訴我的母親，“聽著，我要全力以赴”
Told my mom, 'Look, I gotta be all in'
朋友們給我打電話說，“我們什麼時候去”
Friends hit me up like, 'When we ballin? '
我曾經愛過的女孩，我們幾乎不說話
The girl I used to love, were hardly talkin
因為我被鎖住了，我在追逐一個夢，夢遊者
Cause Im locked and Imchasing a dream, sleepwalkin
我迷失在這樣一個事實中錢只是我的附屬品
Im lost in the fact that moneys just costin me
這是我所需要的生活，所有我流血的墨水
This the life that I need, all this ink that I bleed
就是給你畫一幅他們不想讓你看到的畫嗎
Is to paint you a picture they dont want you to see
他們不希望你這樣，去尋找更快樂的事情吧
That they dont want you to be, to find the happier things
錢，衣服，女人，都是物質的東西
Money, clothes, women all material things
我們將會離開，但總有一天你會看到
Will walk out and leave, but one day youll see
試著在這條單行道上找到屬於我的路
Tryna find my way on this one-way street
看著這條路，就像你和我
Staring at this road like its you and me
這次我不會跑了

從我的內心深處
Im not gonna run this time
是時候把這一切拋在腦後了
From what Ive buried deep inside
所以我不會，我不會，我不會
Its time I left it all behind
這次跑吧
So I wont, I wont, I wont
“更愛你”到“你好嗎？”
Run this time
每次都是同樣的感覺

說我們會繼續做朋友，但我們不是朋友
'I love you more' to 'how you been? '
是啊，來吧，伙計，感覺好傻
Same feelings every time again
你覺得你了解我，但你並沒有真正了解我
Said wed stay friends, but we aint friends
你不想說話，你以為你知道我的感受
Yeah, come on now, really man, it feels so silly
哦你留著一百塊？好吧，我留著它
You feel that you get me, but you dont really get me
你輸了，我在應付
You dont wanna talk, you think you know what Im feeling
我試著把這些感覺掛起來，但我被綁住了
Oh you keep it a hundred? Okay, Ill keep it a milli
當我說我沒心沒肺的時候，我不是在開玩笑
You lost out, and Im coping
為什麼我要把壞掉的東西帶著身上？
Tryna hang these feelings, but Im roped in
失去耐心，我就完了
When I sayIm heartless, I aint jokin
提起我做過的事，就好像我為此感到自豪一樣
Why do I keep something with me thats broken?
你能看出我很固執嗎？
Losing my patience, Im out of it
聖誕節就要到了，我想要一切
Bringing up things that Ive done like Im proud of it
如果你現在還不明白，你就得自己去拿
Making myself, can you tell that Im adamant?
沒人想到我會在這裡，沒人想到我會賣掉它
Christmas is coming and Im wanting all of it
我看著自己，只有一件事能告訴自己
If you dont get it now, you gotta get it yourself
如果我能成為任何人，那一定不是別人
Nobody thought I would be here, nobody thought I would sell
24/7我在尋找天堂，我在想，我做的還不夠多嗎？
I look at myself, only one thing I can tell
你給了我們自由讓我們做我們想做的事
If I could be anybody, itd be nobody else
這罪孽就放在我們的杯子裡
24/7 Im lookin for heaven, I wonder, am I doin enough?
所以告訴我該怎麼做
You give us this freedom to we do what we want—
讓我看看我該看到什麼
And this sin is just put in our cups
因為好像每個人都知道我是誰
So tell me what Im supposed to do
以及我應該是什麼樣的人
Show me what Im supposed to see
發現自己在一個迷失的世界
Cause seems like everybody knows who I am
我的背一直壓在牆上
And the kind of person Im supposed to be
握著麥克風，就像它是剩下的
Finding myself in a world that is lost
沒有音樂我什麼都不是，因為
My back has been living on walls
這次我不跑了
Gripping this mic like its all that is left
從我的內心深處
Without music Im nothing at all, cause
是時候把這一切都拋在腦後了

所以我不會，我不會，我不會
Im not gonna run this time
這次跑吧
From what Ive buried deep inside
我是服務員
Its time I left it all behind
等待轉機
So I wont, I wont, I wont
活到老學到老
Run this time
在這一生中，最重要的不是錢

但是你賺了多少錢呢
Im a waiter waiting on tables
你是付出了愛還是接受了愛
Waiting for tables to turn
當她說“我愛你”時，你打破了嗎？
You live and you learn
當她開始哭的時候，你面對她了嗎？
In this life it aint about the money that you made
你傷了她的心，你換了嗎？
But what did you earn
回首過去，我後悔了很多
Did you give love or did you take it
所有的一切都在我的腦海裡，我一直試著擺脫它
When she said 'I love you,' did you break it?
迷失自我只是為了找到我是誰
When she started to cry, did you face it?
只為為了找到自己的立場
When you broke her heart, did you replace it?
越來越不耐煩了，比如我什麼時候能趕到
Looking back at my past, Im regretting a lot of it
他們告訴我別等了，就像出去拿一樣
All in my head, Ive been tryna get out of it
追逐夢想，但是，就像，我在追求什麼？
Losing myself just to find who I am
一個人在我的房間裡，我一直在不停的踱來踱去
Taking a leap just to find where I stand
我審視自己和我說過的話
Getting impatient, like when will I make it?
我失去的一切，所有我留下的人
They tell me stop waiting, like go out and take it
投資愛情，你能看出我的情債嗎？
Chasing a dream, but, like, what am I chasing?
我們墜入愛河，就像，你忘了嗎？
Alone in my room, Ive been constantly pacing
算了吧，我來收拾殘局，讓它好好休息
I look at myself and the things that Ive said
把你留在我心、胸口的洞補上
Things Ive let go, all the people Ive kept
愛上一個陌生人，伙計，誰能猜到呢？
Investing in love, can you tell Im in debt?
所以我拿起這只筆就像剩下的這支筆一樣
We fell so in love, like, did you forget?
我這次我不跑了
Forget it, Ill pick up the mess and Ill leave it to rest
從我的內心深處
Close up the hole that youleft in my chest
是時候把這一切拋在腦後了
In love with a stranger, man, who wouldve guessed?
所以我不會，我不會，我不會
So I pick up this pen like its all I got left
這次跑吧

Im not gonna run this time
From what Ive buried deep inside
Its time I left it all behind
So I wont, I wont, I wont
Run this time