mother i sober

I'm sensitive, I feel everything, I feel everybody
我很敏感我共情一切我共情所有人
One man standin' on 2 words, heal everybody
一人靠兩個字支撐治愈所有人
Transformation, then reciprocation, karma must return
昇華往復因果必定輪迴
Heal myself, secrets that I hide, buried in these words
治愈我自己我隱藏的秘密埋藏在這些文字中
Death threats, ego must die, but I let it purge
死亡威脅自負必須被抹除但我選擇讓它淨化
Pacify broken, pieces of me, it was all a blur
破碎的撫慰我已裂成碎片一切都很模糊
Mother cried, put they hands on her, it was family ties
母親哭了把手放在她身上這是家人間的紐帶
I heard it all, I should've grabbed a gun, but I was only five
我聽到了一切我應該拿起槍但那時我只有五歲
I still feel weighin' on my heart, my first tough decision
我的心依舊沉重我做出第一個艱難的決定
In the shadows clingin' to my soul as my only critic
作為我唯一的批判者在陰影中桎梏我的靈魂
Where's my faith? Told you I was Christian, but just not today
我的信仰去哪了？告訴過你我是基督徒但今天我不是
I transformed, prayin' to the trees, God is taken shape
我昇華了對著那些樹祈禱（樹在基督教中像徵的上帝的樂園） 上帝已然成形
My mothers mother followed me for years in her afterlife
我母親的母親在來世跟隨我許多年
Starin' at me on back of some buses
在公交車的後座上盯著我發呆
I wake up at night, loved her dearly
我在夜裡醒來真摯地愛著她
Traded in my tears for a Range Rover
用我的眼淚換了一輛攬勝
Transformation, you ain't felt grief 'til you felt it sober
昇華在感知到它的甦醒前你不會感到悲傷
I wish I was somebody
我希望我是一個大人物
Anybody but myself
可以是任何人但不要是我自己
Ooh, I wish I was somebody
Ooh 真希望我是個大人物
Anybody but myself
可以是任何人但不要是我自己
I remember lookin' in the mirror knowin' I was gifted
我記得看著鏡子裡的自己我知道自己很有天賦
Only child, me for seven years, everythingfor Christmas
七年裡我是唯一的孩子在聖誕節我擁有一切
Family ties, they accused my cousin
家人間的紐帶他們指控我的表弟
'Did he touch you Kendrick?'
“他碰你了嗎，Kendrick？”
Never lied, but no one believed me
我從未撒謊但沒有人相信我
When I said 'He didn't ', frozen moments, still holdin' on it
當我說'他沒有'時氣氛凝固一直至今
Hard to trust myself, I started rhymin'
難以相信自己我開始扭曲事實
Copin' mechanisms to lift up myself
努力應對讓自己振作起來
Talked to my lawyer, told me not to be so hard on myself
與我的律師交談他告訴我不要對自己這麼苛刻
He has an aurora, I hope to achieve
他身上的閃光點是我想要得到的
If I find some help, congratulations, made it to be famous
假如我獲得了幫助那麼恭喜你成名了
Still I feel uneasy, water watchin', live my life in nature
可我還是感到不安瞭望大海在大自然中生活
Only thing relieves me
這是唯一能讓我感到解脫的事情
Spirit guide whisper in my ear tell me that she sees me
靈魂引導在我耳邊告訴我它看到了我
'Did he touch you?' I said 'No ' again, still they didn't believe me
'他有沒有碰你？' 我又說'沒有' 可他們還是不相信我
Mothers brother said he got revenge for my mothers face
母親的弟弟說他為我母親的臉面報仇了
Black and blue, the image of my queen that I can't erase
黑與藍我的女王的影像在我心中無法抹去
' Til this day can't look her in the eyes pain is takin' over
直至今日我都無法直視她的眼睛痛苦正籠罩著我
Blame myself, you never felt guilt 'til you felt it sober
我感到自責在清醒前你從不會感受到內疚的感覺
I wish I was somebody
我希望我是一個大人物
Anybody but myself
可以是任何人但不要是我自己
Ooh, I wish I was somebody
Ooh 我真希望自己是個大人物
Anybody but myself
可以是任何人但不要是我自己
I was never high, I was never drunk, out my mind, I need control
我從未嗑嗨過我從未喝醉過我需要控制自己的頭腦
They handed me some smoke, but still I declined, sittin' with myself
他們給我遞煙但我仍然拒絕了一個人坐在那裡
Went through all emotions, no dependents, except for the one
經歷了太多情感我沒有任何依賴除了一個人
Let me bring you closer, intoxicated, there's a lustful nature that I failed to mention
讓我拉近與你的距離我沉醉其中探索我貪欲的本性
Insecurities that I project, sleepin' with other women
我缺乏安全感故而與其他女人睡覺
Whitney's hurt, the pure soul I know I found her in the kitchen
Whitney感到受傷我在廚房裡發現了她如此純潔的靈魂
Askin' God 'Where did I lose myself? And can it be forgiven?'
我問上帝'我在哪裡迷失了自己？能否被原諒？'
Broek me down, she looked me in my eyes
打破了我的心理防線她看著我的眼睛說
'Is there an addiction?' I said 'No', but this time I lied
'有癮嗎？' 我說'沒有' 但這次我撒謊了
I knew I can't fix pure soul, even in her pain
我知道我無法修復純潔的靈魂即便是在她的痛苦當中
Know she cared for me, gave me a number
知道她關心我給了我她的號碼
Said she recommended some therapy
她說她推薦我接受治療
I asked my momma why she didn't believe me when I told her 'No'
我問我媽媽為什麼我告訴她“No”的時候她不相信我
I never knew she was violated in Chicago, I'm sympathetic
我從不知道她在芝加哥的時候被侵犯了我很同情她
Told me she feared it happened to me, for my protection
她告訴我她害怕這種事情發生在我身上她是為了保護我
Though it never happened, she wouldn't agree
雖然我說這些從未發生過但她不同意
Know I'm affected, twenty years later trauma has resurfaced
我知道我受到了她的影響因為二十年後創傷再次浮現
Amplified as I write this song, I shiver 'cause I'm nervous
當我寫這首歌的時候我在顫抖因為我很緊張
I was five, questioning myself, 'lone fir many years
那時我五歲我質疑自己因此孤獨了許多年
Nothing's wrong, just results on how them questions made me feel
沒有什麼不對的這只不過是那些問題帶給我感覺的後果
I made it home, seven years on detour, chasin' manhood
我終於回家了七年來我一直繞道而行試圖尋找內心成熟的自己
But Whitney's gone by time you hear this song, she did all she could
但當你聽到這首歌時Whitney已然離去她已經做了力所能及的一切
All these women gave me super powers, what I thought I lacked
這些女人賦予了我超能力我以為我缺乏的東西
I pray our children don't inherit me and my feelings
我祈禱我們的孩子不要繼承我以及我的情緒
I attract a conversation, not bein' addressed in black families
我發起了一場對話提及那些在黑人家庭中沒有得到解決的問題
The devastation hauntin' generations and humanity
這些問題的破壞力困擾著我們幾代人以及我們的人性
They raped our mother, then they raped our sisters
他們侵犯了我們的母親然後他們侵犯了我們的姐妹
Then they made us watch, then made us rape eachother
他們逼我們我們看著然後讓我們互相侵犯
Psychotic torture between lives we ain't recovered
這些生命中的精神折磨我們至今無法抹去
Still livin' as victims in the public's eyes, who pledge allegiance
在公眾眼裡我們仍是受害者宣誓效忠的受害者
Every other brother has been compromised
所有其他的兄弟都已經妥協了
I know secrets every other rapper sexually abused
我知道其他說唱歌手被侵犯的秘密
I see them daily burin' the pain in chains and tattoos
我看到他們每天都在用紋身和束縛試圖撫平痛苦
So listen close before you start to pass judgement on how we move
所以在你批判我們的行為前請仔細聽好
Learn how we cope, whenever his uncle had to walk him from school
你該去了解我們是如何應對那些事情的每當叔叔不得不帶我們離開學校
His ankle grows deep in misogyny
我們在厭女的環境中耳濡目染
This is posttraumatic black families and a sodomy, today is still active
這些便是黑人家庭的創傷而這些創傷今天仍然活躍
So I set free myself from all the guilt that I thought I made
所以我把自己從所有自以為的內疚中釋放出來
So I set self my mother all the hurt that she titled shame
所以我把我母親從她所示為“恥辱”的的傷害中解救出來
So I set fire to my cousin, khaotic for my mothers pain
所以我把我的表弟從混沌中解救出來
I hope Hakeem made you proud, 'cause you ain't die in vein
我希望Hykeem讓你感到驕傲了因為你沒有白白死去
So I set fire the power of Whitney, may she heal us all
所以我釋放了Whitney的力量願她治愈我們所有人
So I set free out children, may good karma keep them with God
所以我讓孩子們自由願善緣讓他們與上帝同在
So I set free the hearts filled with hatred, keep our bodies sacred
所以我釋懷了那些充滿仇恨的心讓我們的身體保持聖潔
As I set free all you abusers, this is transformation
當我釋放你們這些虐待者的時候這便是信仰的昇華