Therapy Session

Yeah, I gotta say like a month ago
我不得不說大概在一個月前的時候
I was talking to fans
當時我在和歌迷們說話
And one of 'em pulled me aside and said
其中一位粉絲把我支開到一邊然後對我說
'We never met, but I swear that you know who I am
“雖然我們沒見過面，但是我肯定你認得我”
I've been through a lot
“我經歷了很多事情”
I don't know how to express it to people
“我不知道如何將感受表達給其他人聽”
Don't think that I can, but I got that Mansion CD on rotation
“別覺得我能辦到，可我循環了那張Mansion專輯好多遍”
That's real for me Nate, you do not understand'
“Nate，這是我真實的樣子，你不明白”
It's crazy for me
我感覺不可理喻
Kids hit me up, say they slittin' they wrists on the daily
因為有孩子給我打電話說他們每天都在割腕自殘
This music is more than you think
我這音樂沒有你想的這麼淺顯
Don't book me for just entertainment, it's entertaining
別以為我唱歌只是為了喧嘩取眾，這真太令人費解
Hearin' these parents, they telling their kids my music is violent— you gotta be kidding me
聽到這些家長們說，他們告訴孩子們說我的音樂有暴力傾向——你一定是在拿我開玩笑
I guess that your definition of violence and mine is something that we look at differently
我猜暴力這兩個字的定義在你們和我之間實在差了天壤之別
How do you picture me, huh?
你是怎麼形容我的呢？
You want me to smile, you want me to laugh?
你想要我微笑，要我咧開雙嘴？
You want me to walk on the stage with a smile on my face
你想讓我走在舞台上時掛著一張虛偽的笑臉
When I'm mad and put on a mask, for real though
憤怒時戴上偽裝的面具，但是說真的一句
I mean, what you expect from me?
我的意思是，你想讓我怎樣？
I'm tryna do this respectfully
我已經嘗試表現地恭恭敬敬
They say that 'life is a race'
他們說“生活是一場賽跑”
I knew my problems'll prolly' catch up eventually
我知道我的問題到最後有可能會纏上自己
I do my best to be calm
我有盡力讓自己冷靜
How you gon ' write me and tell me you'd slaughter my family?
你怎麼能給我留評論威脅說要殺害我的家人？
That's just a glimpse to the stuff that get's sent to me
那樣的東西讓我看一眼就覺得很不好受
These are the parts of my life they don't ever see, woo!
這些都是我生活中的困擾，他們根本看不到！
I am aware it's aggressive
我明白我的歌有點激進
I am not here for acceptance
我來這不是為了得到認可
I don't know what you expect here
我不知道你對我還有什麼要求
But, what you expect when you walk in a therapy session
可當你處於治療精神創傷的時期你還能奢望什麼？
Huh?
Therapy, therapy session
治療期，精神康復時期
Therapy, therapy session
治療期，精神康復時期

這個女孩在我演出的時候正視我的臉
This girl at the show looked me in the face
然後告訴我說她生活有太大落差
And told me her life's full of drama
說她的爸爸虐待成癮
Said her dad is abusive
很明顯他會常對她媽媽拳腿交加
Apparently he likes to beat on her mama
我心裡非常憤怒
I got so angry inside
我想叫她給我她爸爸的電話號碼
I wanted to tell her to give me his number
可是你又要怎麼做呢？
But what you gon' do with it right?
你要打電話過去，然後等他對她媽媽更肆無忌憚？
You gon' hit him up, then he'll start hittin' her harder?
這都是真的
That's real
這些孩子，他們來到我演唱會
These kids , they come to my shows
眼裡含著淚水
With tears in they eyes
想像一下有某個人看著你，然後跟你說你的音樂是他們賴以為生的動力
Imagine someone looking at you, and sayin' your music's the reason that they are alive
有的時候，我不知該如何去應付
Sometimes, I don't know how to handle it
我這樣的生活並非美滿
This type of life isn't glamorous
也不像是在鏡頭前演戲
This ain't an act for the cameras
你只看到我走在舞台上光鮮的樣子，但是從來不知道我面對的問題
You see me walk on these stages, but have no idea what I'm dealing with after it, nah!
我將這一切都攤開
I put it all in the open
這是我解決自己所有情緒的方式
This is the way that I cope with all my emotion
我在和成千上萬的人們一起合影
I'm taking pictures with thousands of people
可說實話，我感到根本沒人懂我！
But honestly, I feel like nobody knows me!
我還嘗試著去面對自己的抑鬱
I'm trying to deal with depression
我還嘗試著去應付沉重的壓力
I'm trying to deal with the pressure
你怎麼能在這些被我影響過的一大群人面前
How you gon' tell me my music does not have a message?
告訴我說我的音樂沒有傳遞任何有意義的信息？
When I'm looking out at this crowd full of people I know I affected, ah!
我一生中有太多的過去
I got some things in my life
我知道我該把它們釋懷
I know I should let 'em go
讓我把它記下
Let me jot it down
讓我記在心裡面就好
Let me take a mental note
我將它從這麥克風裡唱出來
I put it all in this microphone
——稍微思考一下
—Think about that for a minute
唱這首歌有什麼意義？我只是在宣洩罷了
What is the point of this song? I'm just venting
可當你處於治療精神創傷的時期你還能奢望什麼？
But what'd you expect from a therapy session?
Huh?
治療期，精神康復時期
Therapy, therapy session
治療期，精神康復時期
Therapy, therapy session
你對我的各種想法

——我並會不在意
What you think about me
我知道自己處理問題的方式是不太妥當
— That doesn't worry me
我明白自己需要變得更加成熟一些
I know I handle some things immaturely
我不會大搖大擺走過這些舞台，在這些聽眾面前
I know that I need to grow in maturity
裝得好像我的人生沒有任何瑕疵
I ain't gon' walk on these stages, in front of these people
這對我來說沒有必要
And act like I live my life perfectly
基督徒三個字可不是對完美這個詞的定義
That doesn't work for me
我不是那種保持沉默的人
Christian is not the definition of what perfect means
我不會靜坐在這裡一語不發
I ain't the type to be quiet
要是我沒有當著你的面說難聽的話
I ain't gon' sit here in silence
那我敢保證，我也不會在私底下說三道四
If I wouldn't say what I say to your face
我沒有在說謊
Then I promise you, I wouldn't say it in private
人們在我主頁上的評論論長論短，我試著不去回复
I am not lyin'
但是這真的太荒唐了
People go off on my page and I'm tryin' to quit the replying
我是個多情善感的人，我寫的東西都是真實的感受
But this is ridiculous
你想讓我保持態度真摯？
I'm passionate man, I really mean what I'm writing
好，我就如你所願
You want me to keep it a hundred?
我看到社會上有很多流言蜚語
Okay, I'll keep it a hundred
說實在的，我對公然的傳言都視而不見
I see a whole lot of talkin' on socials
我就喜歡這樣
But honestly, I don't see nothing in public
“為什麼你不寫一點歡快點的說唱呢？
I kinda love it, yeah
那樣肯定會很不錯的”
' Why don't you write us some happy raps?
“Nate，你所有的音樂太憂鬱陰暗了”
That would be awesome'
——別再把我逼下去
'All of your music is moody and dark, Nate'
你想知道見到我真人的樣子是什麼樣的嗎
—Don't get me started
聽好我說的話
You wanna know what it's like if you met me in person?
這音樂不只為了給那些坐在教堂長椅上祈禱的人聽
Listen to my verses
我不反對這些評價
This music is not just for people who sit in the pews and pray at the churches, nah
我不期望能得到每個人的尊敬
I won't reject it
我也不指望你會懂我對音樂的理念
I don't expect everyone to respect it
可當你處於治療精神創傷的時期你還能奢望什麼？
I don't expect you to get my perspective
But, what'd you expect from a therapy session?
我的意思是，我覺得有時候很多人——他們不理解我在做的事
Huh?
我為了生活創作，我寫了自己現實裡真正在面對的東西

那些，我曾經親身經歷過的事情
I mean, I think sometimes people—they confuse what I'm doing
這於我而言真實無比
I write about life, I write about things that I'm actually dealing with
就好像，這樣做也能很好地幫助到我自己
Something, that I'm actually experiencing
我不會費解去想是誰給了我這才能
This is real for me
是上帝給了我這個天賦，祂賜予我這能力來面對這些困境
Like, this is something that personally helps me as well
祂也給了我這禀賦作為情感窗口
I'm not confused about who gave me the gift
這就是音樂對我的意義
God gave me the gift and he gave me the ability to, to do this
當我感到有些情緒，不管是憤怒
And he also gave me this as an outlet
還是對某些東西的熱情或說是沮喪的時候
And that's what music is for me
這就是我的方向
When I feel something, whether it's anger
這就是我NF個人所謂對音樂真正的態度
Um, it's a passion about something, or frustration
這是真正的事物，我需要這樣
Like this is where I go
這是我的一種治療方式
This is, this is—that's the whole 'NFrealmusic' thing man
This is real for me, I need this
This is a therapy for me