That's My Story

And that's my story here,
for me, Timothy Treadwell,
the kind warrior.
Can I take it?
I'm trying.
Okay, yeah, I can do it.
Why not? Why not?
I've crossed the halfway point.
Government's given me all they have. So far.
I've stood up to it.
I've had danger in the boat, almost died.
I've almost fallen off a cliff, yeah.
The danger factor's about to amp up in the Maze.
The Maze is always the most dangerous.
Lord, I do not want to be hurt by a bear.
I do not.
I always cannot understandwhy girls don't...
wanna be with me for a long time,
because I have really a nice personality.
I'm fun.
I'm very, very good in the...
You're not supposed to say that when you're a guy.
But I know I am. They know I am.
And...
I don't fight with them, I'm so passive.
Bit of a patsy!
Is that a turnoff to girls, to be a patsy?
I mean it's not... it's not that I'm a total great guy.
I'm a lot of fun and have a good life going.
I don't know what's going on.
I always wished I was gay. Would've been a lot easier.
You know? You can just "bing-bing-bing."
Gay guys have no problem.
I mean, they go to restrooms and truck stops,
and they perform ***.
It's like so easy for 'em and stuff.
But you know what? Alas, Timothy Treadwell is not gay.
Bummer!
I love girls! And girls...
Girls need a lot more...
need a lot more, you know, finesse and caring.
And I like that a bit.
But when it goes bad and you're alone,
it's like...
Well, you know,
you can't rebound like you can if you were gay.
I'm sure gay people have problems too，but...
not as much as one goofy straight guy
named Timothy Treadwell.
Anyway, that's my story. That's my story.