miracle of Judaism

JASON: Dot Nardoni, Tiffany Axelrod,
Zoe Feinstein, Angelina Dellibovi,
Bunny Doyne, or what's her name
Mo Cristofaro and Eillie Mazie Rosenthal's real well built
When Heather Levin stares at me, why do I wilt?
I like when Julie Johnson does splits in her kilt
Of these girls,
Which should I invite to my bar mitzvah'
I've a problem to flaunt:
I don't want the girls I should want.
(The guy says 'Batter up!')
I want girls for whom I lust,
Girls who wear a lot of makeup,
Girls who smoke and show their bust,
Girls with whom I always wake up-
(Jason misses the ball, the guy says 'strike one!', his family is sad)
Would they come though,
If they were invited,
And not laugh at my hebrew
And not laugh at my father and his friends'
(Jason misses the ball again, the guy says 'strike two!', his family is sad again)
Excluding them, I find exciting.
And I'm left with them, I'll be inviting.
Selecting girls for one's bar mitzvah.
God, that's the miracle of Judaism.
(Jason freaking misses the ball again, the guy says 'strike three, you're out!')
That'd be the miracle of Judaism.