Cinephile

他喜歡那些電影
He loved movies
他喜歡看《沉睡》
He loved The Big Sleep,
《大寒》以及《大出意外》
The Big Chill and The Big Easy
他鍾愛《教父》中的阿爾·帕西諾
He loved Al Pacino in the Godfather
還有，《吉爾達》中的麗塔·海沃斯
And Rita Hayworth in Gilda
他愛《007》中那場經典的高爾夫對抗
He loved the golf match in Goldfinger
還有《亂世浮生》裡的獨具匠心
And the sharp twist in the Crying Game
他沉醉於西部電影
He loved westerns where
在那裡英雄的道德遭受懷疑
The morality of the hero was suspect
愛情電影中真愛不會被藏匿
And romances where her true love
從電影一開始就在女主角身邊
Was there in front of the heroine from scene one
他熱愛時代劇
He loved period drama
武士傳奇
And samurai epics
政治驚悚
And political thrillers
偵探懸疑
And detective features
但
But most of all
他還是最愛他妻子的電影
He loved movies of his wife
我們的公司總是能給予他
Our firm always gave him the most
最密切的關注
Personal of attention
所以，在他去世時
And by the time he died
他的朋友們也和他一起長眠
None of his friends were left alive
作為他最初的合夥人，我花了一周時間
So as junior partner I got to spend a week
陪他待在皮姆利科（倫敦中心地區）的家中
In his Primlico townhouse
揀選書、西服、家具
Sifting though books, suits, furniture
和六十三卷8毫米膠片
And sixty-three cans of super 8 film
大家都知道他習慣坐在書房
He was known to sit in his study
漸漸陷入冥想
Into the small hours
獨自註視著閃爍的屏幕
Alone with the flickering screen
一杯紅酒和一片寂靜
A glass of wine and the quiet
放映機不停地發出聲響
Chattering of the projector
每個捲軸上都用黑色墨水記錄著日期
Each reel had a date inscribed in careful black ink
我從頭到尾掃視了它們一番
I watched them from first to last
在那個書房裡
In that same study where
窗簾被拉開
The curtains drawn and a pot
大吉嶺茶擺在我胳膊旁
of Darjeeling by my elbow
他們都可以稱為研究肖像
They were all studies
只要你願意
Portraits if you will
起初，她還很害羞
In the early sequences she is shy
躲在門後面
Hiding behind doors
舉起手擋住鏡頭
Raising her hand above the shot
她的純金婚戒顯得很亮眼
Her plain gold wedding-band prominent
一兩卷影片後，她看上去漸漸自如了
After a spool or two she relaxes
她假裝與攝像機玩遊戲
And begins to play to the camera
在花園裡旋轉
Spinning in the garden
在頭上圍上一條絲巾
Swirling a scarf around her head
時而浪漫地飛吻，時而故作嚴肅地豎起手指
Blowing kisses and pointing a stern finger
在隨後的那卷影片裡，她是最放鬆
The subsequent reels are the most intimate
她甚至忘記了自己在拍電影
As she learns to forget she is on film
我們可以看到她在窗邊讀書
We see her reading at the window
咬著手指，和某人通話
Nibbling her nails, talking on the telephone
慢慢地理著她的頭髮
And slowly, dreamily combing her hair
在一個睡覺的長鏡頭中
In one feature length sleep sequence
她的眼皮幾乎沒有眨動
She barely moves and eyelid
但播了十卷以後突然出現了卡頓
But the cracks begin to show after ten
或是十一卷
or eleven spools
在此之前，她還很舒服
Where once she was relaxed
現在，她看上去有些不適了
She is now uncomfortable in the frame
她的表情，甚至她的整個肢體語言
Her expression, her whole body language
變得小心和警覺起來
Becomes defensive and strained
那些畫面還在不停地錄著
Still the images continue recording
她還在原來的地方
Her in the same locations
在房子周圍的某處，穿著同樣的衣服
Around the house, the same outfits
她一隻手放在臀部
With a hand on her hip
站在攝像機的旁邊說話
She lectures a point beside the camera
她揮舞著手，示意他不要拍了
She waves at him to stop filming
但是鏡頭沒有停下
Yet the footage continues unyielding
捲軸還在繼續堆積
And the reels stack up
一槍接著一槍
Repeatedly shot after shot after shot
她慌忙地穿過各種房間
She leaves various rooms
被絆倒在地，她尖叫了
Trapped for a few seconds she screams
在沉默中，撕扯著她的頭髮
In silence, tearing at her hair
後來，她又去扔東西
And eventually she throws things
他們的婚姻延續了八個半月
Their marriage lasted eight and a half months
以及後來的三十七年
And for thirty-seven years afterwards
他一直坐在書房裡，直到天黑
He sat until late in his study
給放映機填充膠片，在微弱的燈光中眨著眼
Feeding the projector and blinking in the half-light
他愛這些電影
He loved those movies