A Question
Is it enough that you succeed or does someone else need to fail?
成功是自我的胜利，还是将他人踩在脚下？
There's a lot that my soul still needs and my heart has left a bleeding trail
灵魂暴食而不知足，心脏的伤口仍流血不止
To balance out my order/chaos dynamic
为在秩序与混乱中寻求动态平衡
I derive joy from anything that isn't panic
我不再从围观恐慌乱象中获取快乐
Because life doesn't get easier, but our strength moves like meteors
人生举步维艰，而人的斗志只如流星转瞬即逝
And lately, I'm not afraid of monsters as much as I'm afraid of becoming one
如今我不再畏惧怪物，而是更担忧成为怪物
My mind has been hiding the imposters and the thought of revenge sometimes sounds like fun
大脑藏起虚伪的邪念和乐趣驱使的复仇之火
So I begin to run so I don't get lost in what was
我疯狂奔跑，只为不站在原地迷失
Removing my pride so I don't feel so undone
我抛弃傲气，只为欺骗自我并非一事无成
It's crazy what a soul can become
难以相信，灵魂竟能劣化到如此地步
'Cause you have to make your opponent seem reprehensible so you don't have to take them seriously
你贬低对手的道德，从而说服自己可以轻敌
But freedom from the chains of depression are obtainable when I can talk to myself fearlessly
只有与自己坦诚对话，自由才能摆脱抑郁的镣铐
So, I turn to songs and music and bands that feel honest
我转而投入歌曲，音乐和乐队寻求真诚
Music where I'm finally not paying for the name, but I'm actually paying for the product
但音乐不再是它自己，而是包装好的商品
I promise that I'm echoing the message that I was taught when I was facing trauma
创伤带来的教训层层累加，但我屡教不改
I wrote about the real stuff in my life and now I feel like I've lost it
我把生活写进歌里，但生活却离我渐远
That sense of comfort of knowing no one really knows me
无人关心我反而安心
Because I'm afraid of my mistakes and I don't like feeling lonely
因为我害怕一朝不慎就被他人抛弃
So I ask, you don't need to stay, but before you leave, could you at least hold me?
故我问，你离开之前，能否与我相拥？
I hate feeling this depression
我厌恶每日颓丧
I hate making first impressions
我厌恶刻意打造第一印象
I hate digging my head in the sand
我厌恶头埋进沙里麻痹自己
And I hate not having your attention
我厌恶得不到你的注意
I hate that there's hate in my heart
我甚至厌恶这厌恶情绪
And I promise that it'll someday leave me
创造艺术尽管让我压抑，却也使我圆满
But the moments I spend creating art are the only ones that I feel can still complete me
创造艺术尽管让我压抑，却也使我圆满
And I'll say "I love you" to my dad more often, now that my mom is living in heaven
母亲已享天国之乐，我只好把爱都表达给父亲
I'll stop complaining about the past and I'll stop hoping things were just more even
我不再抱怨过去，不再奢望落定尘埃可以改变
And I won't complain about the rules, even when I feel that the game is not fair
人生游戏无论多不公平，我也不再抗议规则
Because life can end in one quick second and it's time that I begin to care
生命可能在一刹那熄灭，我决意珍惜当下
I want to pray more often and I want to talk less
多做祈祷，少说废话
I want to let love begin to blossom and stop living in mess
我想让爱搬离腐臭淤泥，在阳光下开花
I want to focus on my physical health and stop indulging when I'm depressed
我想重获健康，而不在抑郁时越陷越深
I want to make life less about fearing hell and more about the love we possess
我想让生活不再笼罩在阴影下，而是关心拥有的爱
And I want to feel beautiful even in the moments that I regret
即使在我懊悔万分时，我也想爱我自己
I just want to feel beautiful
我只是想爱我自己啊