Rogue's Gallery

編曲 : The Stupendium
我知道看起來可能不像。
I may not look (like) it,
但是我可是去過藝術學院的......
But I went to an art school, you know...
我在那裡可是偷了8箱顏料才觸發了警報。
and I stole Ilike eight crates of acrilic before I tripped the alarm
[Hnn hehe]
[嘿嘿嘿]
Anywho
說回正事
what can I do for you pal ?
我能為你做點什麼呢老兄？
You look like a fine, upstanding island representative
你看起來像是一個正直的小島銷售代理。
The kind who understand an enterprise
像你這種人最能能理解企業
when they're presented with
只要為你展示
access to a wonderland
一座仙境
of fine authentic decoratives.
裡面充滿了貨真價實的藝術品。
Except that there's just a chance
只是有這種很小的可能性，
you might detect they're edited.
你會發現它們是稍稍修改過的。
It's nothing underhanded.
這可不算什麼欺詐，
Why, it's simple etiquette.
原因嘛...就是簡單的潛規則。
Someone's gotta lose
總有人要蒙受損失，
or else the price is not competitive.
不然商品價格就沒有競爭力了。
I may be discredited.
我或許確實毫無信譽可言，
But you need some art exhibits.
但是誰叫你急需一些藝術品。
And I'm the only guy upon this island who is selling it.
而我是整座小島上唯一有貨源的人。
Got a little bit of post-impressionism, neoclassical, surrealism, art nouverau.
這兒有著後印象派、新古典、超現實主義和新藝術派的作品。
[Ohhh]
But if you hit me with a host of questions
[哦豁]
quizzing, be all asking if it's real?
但是你要是想我拋出一堆問題，
Well, it's hard to know.
問我，這些都是真跡嗎？
But the problem is:
那我只能說很難鑑別。
Would I lie to you?
但是你想想看：
After all, we're cousins, I've decided.
我為啥要欺騙你呢？
Ooh, you want a statue?
畢竟我們親如一家人，我已經決定了。
I got a whole load in this old boat.
哦！你要來一座雕像嗎？
If they don't go then the hull might smashthrough.
我的舊船上有著一堆呢。
Satisfaction guaranteed.
如果沒人買那船艙就要被壓穿了。
No retractions.
商品保證你滿意。
No receipts.
恕不退貨。
Refund laws may stand on land,
絕無發票。
but not transactions planned at sea.
退款法案或許在岸上生效，
So if you've a gallery,
但這可是在海上的交易。
lacking in a masterpiece.
所以如果你坐擁一個畫廊，
Head down to the beach,
正巧缺少一點大師傑作。
I wouldn't cheat ya pal,
那就去海邊吧，
we're family.
我可不會騙你兄弟，
You want the Venus De Milo for nook miles ?
畢竟我們可是一家人。
Oh please.
你想用《狐狸旅程》換斷臂的維納斯？
Think a Donatello's gonna fall out of an oak tree?
哦可得了吧。
Think another barge is gonna barge in
你覺得多納泰羅的作品會從橡樹上面自己掉下來？
back of your garden,
還是覺得會有另一艘駁船入港，
with a better bargain?
就在你的後院，
There won't be!
給你更優的價格？
Got a sweet deal on a real Michelangelo.
不會的！
Go to a guy in a van for my Van Goghs.
這個米開朗基羅的價格可不算高。
Can't be picky when you're picking a Picasso.
要買梵高的作品去找我那個車裡的朋友。
Doesn't even matter when you're painting where your hand goes.
挑畢加索畫的時候可不能挑挑剔剔的，
Screw your turnips.
畫畫時畫筆落在哪裡都沒有關係。
I can turn a profit taking turns at taking turners
我可去你的吧。
and turning then into takings.
我可以靠收集特納的作品循環著賺取利潤。
Earning paper from discerning patrons.
然後把它們記為營業額。
No return or trade-ins!
再挑剔的顧客手中也能賺到票子。
All these bargain I got for you,
絕不接受退換貨！
Here's a lautrec that I'd hate Toulouse(to lose)
我給你找的這些好東西，
Buy it!
告訴你個小知識我最討厭圖盧茲（輸）了。
You ain't got all day to peruse.
買吧！
Try it or I'll make you pay by the view.
你可沒有一整天時間細細觀賞。
You haven't got the money for a Manet or Matisse.
你要是再看我就要按眼收費了。
But I probably got a Monet you can have it on the cheap.
你沒錢買馬奈和馬蒂斯的作品。
I got millet by the million.
但是這兒有幾個莫奈的作品你可以便宜點拿走。
It's more than I can keep.
我這兒的作品成千上萬，
So you really better buy them,
早就已經裝不下了，
or I'll toss them in the deep.
所以你最好快點決定買啥，
You bought your Hieronymus bosch outright?
不然我就要把多餘的畫扔進海裡了。
Gosh, how nice!
你要全價買耶羅尼米斯·博斯的作品？
Want advice?
哇哦，真棒！
You coulda bought a lotta Botticellis
要來點建議麼？
from the fella at the jetty for a knock-down price.
你本可以買好多波提切利的作品
Kandinsky?
我在碼頭的仁兄可以給你打個折。
Can-do-ski!
康定斯基的作品？
Got a line on a fine one back in new leaf.
好呀可以。
Got a whole back room of own-brand Rembrandts.
有線人說在新葉（動森前作）有一個好的。
Here's a Vermeer!
有滿滿一屋子的自己品牌的倫勃朗作品。
Don't look at that Jewellery.
這是維米爾的作品。
All the greatest artist even known,
別盯著那個耳環看。 （指戴珍珠耳環的少女）
sailing around your archipelago.
全世界最偉大的藝術家們，
Who needs authentication when there's a saving?
就在你的小島周圍巡遊。
The owl's on his way?
誰會需要幾張證書證明，
Then I'd better go.
如果能省錢的話。
HOO what?
貓頭鷹動身了？
I have on close examination of this painting.
那我也該動身跑了。
I...I have grave news to share with you.
豁？這是啥！
This work of art...
我仔細檢查了這幅作品。
Is a fake!
我...我有重要消息要告訴你。
What kind of wretched scoundrel
這幅作品...
would commit such fraudulent forgery to canvas!
是贗品！
Oh that hurts!
要多麼無恥的混蛋騙子才會在畫布上製作這麼粗製濫造的贗品？
Satisfaction guaranteed.
哦！太傷人了！
No retractions.
商品保證你滿意。
No receipts.
恕不退貨。
Refund laws may stand on land,
絕無發票。
butnot transactions planned at sea.
退款法案或許在岸上生效，
So if you've a gallery,
但這可是在海上的交易。
lacking in a masterpiece.
所以如果你坐擁一個畫廊，
Head down to the beach,
正巧缺少一點大師傑作。
I wouldn't cheat ya pal,
那就去海邊吧，
we're family.
我可不會騙你兄弟，
Can't afford all the money I charge ?
畢竟我們可是一家人。
Forgery?
付不起我提出的價格？
Nah! It's a loving homage!
贗品?
Felon? I'm not! I'm a renaissance fox!
不不不，這最多算充滿愛的致敬！
Honestly only a little ar large!
重犯？我可是文藝復興之狐。
So don't be frugal.
說實話也只是被稍微通緝了一點點而已。
Buy that Bruegel.
所以別這麼小氣。
I got Dagas for days.
把勃魯蓋爾作品買下來吧。
Cezannes's in season.
我已經散味（與畫家德加同拼寫）很多天了。
Sure, that Seurat would look great at your place!
塞尚的作品正在當季。
Cuz I got a lotta costs to offset.
這幅修拉的大作一定會讓你家蓬蓽生輝。
I spend a lotta dollar on that Bob Ross box set.
因為我有好多開銷等著抵償。
So any members of the management
我花了不少錢買了鮑勃·魯斯的光盤。
might have a happy little accident if they object.
所以如果管理層有人反對。
To my entrepreneurial oeuvre.
可能就會有一點點小小意外。
Largely consists of reiding the Louvre.
要說起我起家的經歷。
Taking the paintings and tracing the loot.
大部分都是依靠打劫盧浮宮。
Then passing the savings directly to you!
收好畫作並記好贓物。
Often my copies are just so convincing.
然後把存貨直接轉手給你。
I'll quite accidently sell the origional.
有時候我的仿製品太過完美了。
Though letting residents purchance the evidence,
我就會不慎將真跡賣出去了。
saves me from shredding them.
但是讓居民買下了證據。
Thus they're the cirminal.
還省了我銷毀他們的功夫。
Say I'm a fake and it hurts.
那看來他們才是罪犯。
Say I'm just after a way to your purse?
說我的東西是假貨太傷人了。
Say that to my face?
說我只是想騙你的錢？
You''ll save on the hearse.
還當著我的面說？
You don't need a wake for a Damien Hirst.
你算是剩下了下葬的錢。
So if your podunk little home
充當達明安·赫斯特的作品正巧不用活物（指他的動物屍體作品）。
wants cultural acclaim.
所以你那死氣沉沉的小房子
There's just one choice of vender, friend.
希望被人誇獎有文藝格調。
And Crazy Radd's the name!
那供應商的選擇是有一個啊朋友。
But, if you're dissatisfied.
他大名就叫“狐利·瑞德”。
Then someone gets to blame.
但你要是還有一點點不滿意。
You can canvas all my customers.
那總歸要有人背鍋。
They''ll tell ya,
你可以問問我其他的顧客。
I was framed!
他們會告訴你。
Tom Nook here with an island announcement.
我是被陷害（裝裱）的。
An unscrupulous character has been seen
狸克在這裡做全島廣播
lingering at the back of the island.
一個肆無忌憚的滑頭被目擊到
Do not talk to him.
在小到的後方流竄。
Alright?
不要和他說話！
Hey that's my cue to go.
聽到了吧。
But uhh...
嘿，那說明我該走人了。
That eight-foot stone head you ordered?
但是額......
I'll mail it to ya.
你定的那個八尺石頭雕像？
How big's your mail box?
我會郵寄給你的。