Getting Older

Im getting older, I think Im aging well
I wish someone had told me Id be doing this by myself
Theres reasons that Im thankful, theres a lot Im grateful for
But its different when a strangers always waiting at your door
Which is ironic cause the strangers seem to want me more
Than anyone before (anyone before)
Too bad theyre usually deranged
Last week, I realized I crave pity
When I retell a story, I make everything sound worse
Cant shake the feeling that Im just bad at healing
And maybe thats the reason every sentence sounds rehearsed
Which is ironic because when I wasnt honest, I was still being ignored
(Lying for attention just to get neglection)
Now were estranged
♪
Things I once enjoyed (ah-ah)
Just keep me employed now
Things Im longing for
Someday, Ill be bored of
Its so weird
That we care so much until we dont
Im getting older, Ive got more on my shoulders
But Im getting better at admitting when Im wrong
Im happier than ever, at least thats my endeavor
To keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure
Cause to be honest, I just wish that what I promise
Would depend on what Im given (not on his permission)
(Wasnt my decision) to be abused, mmm
Things I once enjoyed
Just keep me employed now
Things Im longing for, mmh
Someday, Ill be bored of
Its so weird
That we care so much untilwe dont
But next week, I hope Im somewhere laughing
For anybody asking, I promise Ill be fine
Ive had some trauma, did things I didnt wanna
Was too afraid to tell ya, but now, I think its time