Even

When is it too many times to tell you
That I think of you every night
I dont want to make it hard on you
So I could be cruel
I could make you hate me would that make it easy
Did you think I forgot the fireworks
The black eye trading blows on the fourth of July
But you were right
I was asking for it
I always am its no good
If the pain doesnt make you feel like you earned it
And I probably deserved it
All you ever say is whats the point
Is anybody there to help me now
Its not that I think Im good
I know that Im evil
I guess I was trying to even it out
Isnt that what you want for me to be miserable like you
Well brother youre about to get your wish
Putting my fist through the plaster in the bathroom of a Motel 6
I must have pictured it all a thousand times
I swear to God I think Im gonna die
I know you were right I cant be fixed so help me
All you ever say is whats the point
Is anybody there to help me now
Its not that I think Im good I know that Im evil
I guess I was trying to even it out