Reasons Not To Die (Demo)

I'm sorry the party you threw for me
Was met with such a royal hitch I'm a ***** I
Don't mean to be selfish
You rolled out the carpet to watch it catch fire
It's just another Thursday, my party
I cried like I always do, oh oh oh
I flew here to help clear the mess that was me
Made up of fear and self hate
A stalemate with he who shall not be named
You tried and you cried, confessing your grip was slipping
Couldn't help me, you held me, the shadows began to fade
Here's to the ones
The renegades who never run
Despite all of my ranting and raging so
Here's to the ones
Who hide the bullet from the gun
Foot down on all of my ******** but won't cage me in
Despondent, catatonic suicide queen
By now I know a screw's loose or too few
Or worse there's too many
But of course, the dark horse
You bet it all in stride
I hope I'm not a regret, a sea-swept
I'll fight to the finish line
And I get so stuck in my head
Lost in all the lies, nihilistic backslide
And when I can't get out of bed
And I see the edge I'm slipping from the ledge
And praying to Gods I don't believe in for a sign
Some reasons not to die and there you are
Here's to the ones
Who stuck in when they should have run
Despite all of my ranting and raging so
Here's to the ones
Who hide the bullet from the gun
Foot down on all of my ******** but won't cage me in
Here's to my fans
All in until the bitter end
Drink or two to the toast
Not too many though